17 Ways to Look, Feel, and Act like a Classy Lady

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Step into a lady-like lifestyle with these tips

Co-authored by Tami Claytor and Bertha Isabel Crombet, PhD

Last Updated: October 28, 2025 Fact Checked

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• Appearance
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• Behaviors
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• Personality
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• Benefits
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• Video
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• Q&A
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• Tips

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Although being a “classy lady” is certainly open to interpretation in this day and age, the term generally describes an elegant, educated woman with manners, a well-rounded personality, and a good upbringing. Classy ladies aren’t snobby or stuck up, but they do tend to conduct themselves with dignity, consideration, and grace. If you want to know how to become a classy lady, keep reading for a comprehensive guide. Plus, etiquette coaches Tami Claytor and Carolyn Powery, as well as personal stylist Alena Le Blanc, weigh in on the dos and don’ts of classy lady life.

How to Be a Classy Lady

According to etiquette coach Tami Claytor, walk with good posture and your head held high. Maintain good hygiene, be well-groomed, and dress in clean, classic, modest clothes. Articulate yourself well, be considerate of others, and strive to make everyone feel comfortable. Be well-read and work on self-improvement.

Steps

Section 1 of 4:

Taking Care of Your Appearance

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   Improve your posture. Having good posture is an important part of being classy. Make sure to keep your back straight, whether you're sitting down or standing up, and to avoid slouching at all costs. Claytor says, “Don't slouch no matter how tall you are.” Slouching can make you look sloppy, so make sure you keep your spine straight and your head up as much as you can. When sitting, don't cross one leg over the other. Instead, cross them at the feet and not behind the chair.

   • Try doing this when you're by yourself, too, so you get used to doing it in front of others.
   • As far as walking, Claytor adds, “A lady should always walk with her head held high. So, in other words, her chin is going to be parallel to the floor, and you really don't move your arms a lot.”

   Meet the wikiHow Experts

   Carolyn Powery is an etiquette coach based in West Palm Beach, Florida. She has over 16 years of experience helping clients.

   Tami Claytor is an etiquette coach and image consultant based in New York, New York with over 20 years of experience.

   Alena Le Blanc is a personal stylist and founder of Le Blanc Label, based in San Francisco, California
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   Maintain good hygiene. Good hygiene means showering every day and always wearing clean clothes without stains. If you're doing something where you'll get dirty, change right after. If you're in a situation where you'll get sweaty (e.g. a dance), bring an extra shirt just in case.

   • Practice good dental hygiene by brushing at least twice a day and flossing regularly.
   • Wash your hands often, keep your home tidy and organized, and clean surface areas regularly.
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   Be well-groomed. Brush your hair, shave your underarms, legs, and other preferred areas, and make sure you smell nice. If you have braids or curly hair you’d rather not brush regularly to maintain the curls, aim to always have it washed and styled to your liking. You can even carry a comb or brush with you for emergencies, but don't brush your hair in public, because it could be seen as undignified. Wait until you're alone in the bathroom to do it.

   • If you don’t want to wear your hair down at all times, consider trying a fancy up-do.
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   Wear natural-looking makeup (optional). If makeup is your thing, then you should apply it appropriately. For day-wear, natural-looking makeup is the best. Opt for a light coverage, sheer foundation, not a powder-based foundation, as these can create an unflattering texture on the skin. Only use concealer if necessary and add a touch of bronzer or highlighter to your cheekbones. Fill in your brows and apply a neutral pinkish shade to your lips or simply a gloss. Use a matte setting spray and voila! You’re a classy lady with classy makeup.

   • Remember: little or no makeup is better than smudged makeup.
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   Dress elegantly and modestly. Dressing like a lady essentially means dressing with dignity, which doesn’t have to cost very much. Claytor adds that “your clothes should fit properly,” with no visible undergarments. Keep your clothes in good shape; anything ripped or revealing could potentially be seen as inappropriate, although this depends on the occasion. If you wear high heels, Claytor knows how quickly they can get scuffed up, but encourages you to keep “the heels of your shoes are well maintained.”

   • This means not wearing anything too short (short skirts or shorts), too translucent, or anything that exposes your belly.
   • If you really wish to wear something a little revealing (deep neck, bare shoulders, or a high cut on the skirt), reveal one thing only. For example, an evening top with a low neck should be accompanied by a long skirt/trousers and have proper sleeves that cover the shoulders.
   • If you're in doubt about what to wear to an occasion, it's better to be overdressed than underdressed.
   EXPERT TIP

   

   Alena Le Blanc

   Personal Stylist

   Alena Le Blanc is the Personal Stylist and the Founder of Le Blanc Label. Based in San Francisco, California, Le Blanc Label is the leading personal stylist brand for sustainable style transformations. Alena and her team specialize in seasonal wardrobe refreshes, closet edits, styling for special events, travel, photoshoots, and general personal needs. Alena has been featured in podcasts including EMPOWERED BY WMN, I Am Fearless, and Mind Power Meets Mystic. Alena received her BFA in Fashion and Apparel Design from the Academy of Art University.

   

   Alena Le Blanc
   Personal Stylist

   Cultivate a high-end look through minimalist shapes, neutral colors, and quality fabrics. Look for clothing or accessories crafted from luxurious natural materials. Opt for simple yet classic designs with earth tones and neutrals like black, white, beige, and navy. Make your style exude sophistication and class.
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Section 2 of 4:

Learning Ladylike Behaviors

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   Be an articulate speaker. If you want to sound classy, then you have to speak clearly, avoid mumbling or talking too loudly, and be grammatically correct. A classy lady speaks with confidence and talks clearly enough for others to understand her. Avoid saying "um," or "like" every two seconds, because that will make you look unrefined. Powery shares, “Some individuals dominate conversations without allowing others to contribute, and that leaves a poor impression. To command respect, you need to show that you value what others have to say.”

   • Read regularly to improve your vocabulary and range of expression.
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   Avoid profanity. Don't swear or use crude expressions. Profanity is one of the least ladylike traits. If you feel that your conversation becomes very dull without the use of profanity, remember that this is just temporary. As you substitute in non-profane expressions (of which there is a virtually limitless supply), you will find your language becoming more specific, more expressive, and more interesting.
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   Be considerate of others. This is the key to being classy, and without this, you may be mistaken for a snob. Be particularly attentive to the needs of the elderly and remember that nobody is beneath your notice. Always be polite. Classy ladies do not say anything hurtful or offensive to other people. Powery says: “It’s important to consider how others feel. Reflect on a time when someone was impolite to you and how that made you feel. This can help you be more conscious of how you treat people and how you present yourself in different settings."

   • If you have to confront someone or put them in their place, speak the truth as you see it, but in moderate language and without recourse to shouting. It is important to find the right time and place for such confrontations.
   • If you want to be a classy lady, then you should treat waiters, strangers, friends of friends, or neighbors with the same level of respect you would give to your close friends.
   • Don't be a snob or act like other groups of people, such as younger people or members of the service industries, are inferior. You should always be nice and friendly to everyone.
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   Make people comfortable. Classy ladies are social and at ease with others. The key to doing this lies in making the people you meet feel at ease and accepted. If this is not easy for you, work on improving your social skills and on being charismatic. According to Powery, “If you make people feel that their opinions are just as important as yours, they’ll recognize you as a good listener and communicator.” She adds, “Respect is earned when people feel heard and valued. Communication, appropriate body language, and making others feel comfortable around you are essential in establishing that.”

   • Improving your conversational skills is a great way of putting people at ease and making an impression as a well-bred and well-informed lady.
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   Practice your etiquette in every situation. A firm grasp on social etiquette is also helpful if you get nervous in social situations, because you'll always know how you're supposed to act. Powery says, “Personal development is crucial. Taking an etiquette class, reading self-improvement books, or attending webinars can all help.” She notes that the key to succeeding is “self-awareness,” and suggests that you “evaluate yourself and identify the areas you want to improve.” After all, according to her, “Growth is an ongoing process.”

   • Learn good table manners, party etiquette, workplace etiquette, and dating etiquette to become more ladylike.
     • Books like Emily Post's Etiquette, The Centennial Edition by Lizzie Post and Daniel Post Senning, Dining Etiquette: Essential Guide for Table Manners, Business Meals, Sushi, Wine and Tea Etiquette by Rebecca and Walker Black, and The Polite Ladies' Guide to Proper Etiquette: A Complete Guide for a Lady’s Conduct in All Her Relations Towards Society by Arthur Martine are all great sources.
   • It is poor etiquette to comment on or make a fuss about other people's lack of etiquette or manners. Unless the situation warrants it (their behavior may cause harm to themselves or others, or is on the far side of moral and acceptable behavior), graciously overlook their gaffes and shortcomings.
   • Try to keep your hands out of your pockets while chatting with new people. Also, put lotion on your hands after you wash them so they won't be dry or rough.
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   Avoid gossiping about others. Malicious gossip or speaking badly of people behind their backs is not very ladylike. Though you may be angry at someone or feel wronged, gossiping about it to a third party will not solve your problems. If you want to be a classy lady, then you have to restrain yourself and avoid saying anything negative about other people unless you want to cause trouble for yourself.

   • Keep your Facebook posts classy, too. Stick to the positive instead of ranting about "some people" who have done you wrong.
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   Stand up for yourself with dignity. Being classy and polite does not in any way mean being a pushover or voicing opinions that are not your own. If you deem that your opinions may be too forceful or may be hurtful to those present, do not lie, but change the topic to something else. If someone asks an impertinent question, do not feel obliged to answer— make a joke, or endeavor to turn the question around.

   • When you do stand up for yourself, state your case without resorting to name-calling or getting overly emotional.
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Section 3 of 4:

Cultivating a Well-Rounded Personality

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   Read more books. Read novels to find role models for etiquette and good manners. Jane Austen is exceptional in her shrewd portrayal of good and bad manners and morals, and a must-read for anyone wishing to be a classy lady. Reading classic novels also has the benefit of making you a well-read and well-informed lady, and there is nothing classy about ignorance.

   • Being well-read will also make you able to have more sophisticated conversations.
   • Reader Poll: We asked 200 wikiHow readers which activity they find most relaxing when winding down for bed, and 50% said reading a book. [Take Poll] If you don't have time to read during the day, read before bed.
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   Find friends with similar interests and ideas. If you're really determined to be classy, then you have to seek out classy company. If your friends are bringing down your level of classiness or not supporting your new mindset, then you may want to seek out other people who help you become your true classy lady self. These people should be confident, self-assured, and maybe a little bit older and more mature so you can learn from them.

   • Your friends should lift you up, not bring you down, so you should hang out with people who make you want to be better than you actually are.
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   Be a conscientious citizen. Part of being classy means being a good, conscientious citizen. What the heck does this mean? A number of things. Don't leave your shopping cart hanging out in the parking lot after you've put your groceries in your trunk; return it to the cart aisle. Let pedestrians cross in front of you when you're driving. Hold the door for the elderly, even if you're in a rush.

   • If you've dropped something in the supermarket, clean it up or tell an employee what happened. Don't just walk away from your mess.
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   Drop the habits of an unclassy lady. If you're really committed to being classy, then you have to get rid of a few things that may be making you look less classy than you really are. Classiness is really about being proper and well-mannered. Education and kindness are important aspects of this. Here are some good things to avoid:

   • Loudly smacking your gum
   • Loudly chewing your food
   • Burping in public
   • Getting too drunk in public
   • Giving people the finger
   • Cursing
   • Rolling your eyes
   • Farting in public
   • Picking your nose
   • Kissing in public
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   Accept responsibility for your own actions. Being able to own what you've done in your life is the height of class. It's not classy to play the victim, blame all your problems on someone else, or to say, "I would have been able to do thing X if only Y hadn't..." Stop whining or making excuses and understand that life is what you make of it, and that you have the power to be as classy as you want and to have a life as good as you want it to be.

   • It's not classy to complain about all of the things you don't have. It's classy to admit that you have a lot of work to do to become the person you really want to be.
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Section 4 of 4:

The Benefits of Being Classy

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1. Being classy can boost self-esteem and earn you respect. Being a classy lady doesn’t simply translate into clean, stylish aesthetics and posh, 9-course dinners. Classiness is nurtured like a skill, and can result in tons of benefits for yourself and others. Having class goes hand in hand with having self-respect, boundaries, and discretion—all desirable qualities in friends, partners, and colleagues.

   • Mastering the art of etiquette also requires a commitment to constantly improving yourself and never staying complacent, so you always have goals to meet. This fosters other great traits, like discipline and ambition.
   • Treating others with respect, kindness, and graciousness can inspire them to do the same, which in turn helps us all.

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• Question

  What does it mean when to stand up for yourself with dignity?

  

  Community Answer

  It means that you say what you stand for (believe in) or defend yourself in a calm and well mannered way. That means without shouting or using profanities (no cursing). This way, you not only state your case but also gain respect.

  Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
  Thank you for your feedback.
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  Can I be a classy lady if I have short hair?

  

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  Yes, short hair can be classy if it's kept neat.

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  Does your financial status affect whether or not you're classy?

  

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  Absolutely not. We can be well-mannered and polite without any cost. It all depends on how we interact with other people.

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  If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow

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The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.

• Classy is not so much about looks as it is about how we respect ourselves and give others the consideration and respect that we want them to give to us. When around others in our family, neighborhood, school, work, shopping, etc., notice how we act and treat them. If we stop to help an elderly person with the door, or say thanks to a clerk in a store, or "excuse me" to someone we bumped into, they are going to see you as a classy person.
• Be compassionate and don't gang up on or put anyone down. Treat people the way you want to be treated. Wear nice, clean, appropriate clothing to weddings, funerals, etc. Always be clean and neat in public.
• I'd add, file your nails and keep your hands clean. Using some kind of moisturizer will make a handshake nicer and make your skin glow. This is true for men and women. Also, wear clean shoes!
• For inspiration on how to be classy and elegant at the same time, watch movies like The Princess Diaries, Anastasia, and Snow White.

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