120 Hysterical Jokes about Fishing That Are Sure to Rock the Boat

If you love casting a line and enjoy a good joke, then this list of fishing jokes is for you! Read on for a long collection of funny fishing jokes, one-liners, puns, and more. We guarantee you’ll have a reely good time!

Our Favorite Fishing Jokes

Why didn’t Noah do much fishing on the ark? He only had 2 worms.
What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall? Dam!
Why do fish swim in schools? Because they can’t walk.
Where do football players go shopping in the off-season? The tackle shop.
Why was the fisherman bad at boxing? He only threw hooks.
Old fishermen never die. They just smell like it.
Why did the fisherman get kicked out of school? He was caught with seaweed.

Section 1 of 9:

Hilarious Fishing Jokes for Any Occasion

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Fish for laughs on your next outing with these gut-busting fishing jokes. What better way to entertain your fishing pals than with some good old fisherman jokes? Here are some of the best, funniest wisecracks the Internet has to offer:
- What do you say to a fisherman on his birthday? “Hope you have a reely good day!”
- Why did the fisherman hang up on his boss? Because he had something on the other line.
- Why don't you tell jokes while ice fishing? The ice cracks up.
- Why didn’t Noah do much fishing on the ark? He only had 2 worms.
- What do you call a fish that won’t shut up? A largemouth bass.
- How do fish get from place to place while golfing? By golf carp.
- How many fishermen does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but you should have seen the bulb. It was THIS big!
- Why are fish more clever than people? Have you ever seen a fish spend a fortune trying to catch a human?
- Game warden: “Didn’t you see the ‘no fishing’ sign?” Fisherman: “I’m not fishing, sir. I’m teaching these worms how to swim!”
- What did the fisherman say to the magician? “Pick a cod, any cod.”
- What does the Pope eat during Lent? Holy mackerel!
- What do you call a Sith Lord who likes to go fishing? Darth Wader.
- What fish swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can’t refuse? The codfather.
- What musical instrument can you use for fishing? A cast-a-net.
- What’s the difference between an angler and a dunce? One baits his hooks and the other hates his books.
- Which fish go to heaven when they die? Angelfish.
- What’s the best way to catch a fish? Have someone throw it to you.
- What do you call a fish that needs help with its vocals? Autotuna.^{[1]
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- Why was the fisherman bad at boxing? He only threw hooks.
- Why don’t you make a deal with a good fisherman? They always have a catch.
- What did the fisherman do at the doctor's office after accidentally swallowing a bucket full of worms? He waited on his diagnosis with baited breath.

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Short Fishing Jokes

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You don’t have to cast a long line to get a big laugh (pun intended). These short fishing jokes are tight, concise, and to the point. If only a fishing outing could be so ef-fish-ient!
- What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall? Dam!^{[2]
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- What do you call bad bait? A fail-lure!
- Where do fish spend their money? At the river bank.
- How do you make an octopus laugh? With ten-tickles.
- How do you keep a fish from smelling? Hold its nose.
- Why do fish swim in schools? Because they can’t walk.
- Why is fishing such a good business? The net profits.
- Why don’t fish play soccer? They’re afraid of the net.
- What do you call a lazy crawfish? A slobster.
- Why did the vegan go fishing? Just for the halibut.
- What’s the fastest fish in the pond? A motor-Pike.
- Why did the fish cross the road? Because it was hooked.
- What is the richest fish in the world? A goldfish.
- What do fish use for money? Sand dollars.
- Where do football players go shopping in the off-season? The tackle shop.
- What’s a fisherman’s favorite video game? COD.

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One-Liner Jokes about Fishing

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These one-liners are perfect for any fishing conversation. Nothing makes you seem more witty and effortlessly funny than a few good one-liners! Slide these bad boys into any chat about fishing to flaunt your clever sense of humor:
- I don't know why my fishing buddy is worried about the recent flu virus. He never catches anything!
- Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for the whole day. Teach a man to fish, and you'll get rid of him for the whole weekend!
- I became a professional fisherman, but I discovered I can’t live on my net income.
- Sorry I told all those fishing jokes. I feel gill-ty.
- Old fishermen never die. They just smell like it.
- A fisherman can be defined as “A jerk on one end of the line waiting for a jerk on the other.”
- A fishing dock, AKA, a surgeon on vacation.
- Did you hear about the fight at the seafood restaurant? Two fish got battered.
- Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and asks, “Any idea how to drive this thing?”
- What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much? A beer-a-cuda.
- Have you seen the new fishing website? It’s not on line yet.
- I went fishing with Skrillex once. It didn’t end well because he kept dropping the bass.
- A fisherman reeled in a 250-pound catfish, 6 feet 6 inches long. I don't get what the big deal is. I do that on Tinder every day.
- I met the world’s richest fisherman today. His net worth was about £10.
- My new internet provider is owned by a fisherman. Terrible service, takes all day to get a byte.
- A fisherman caught a fish so big that he dislocated his shoulders describing it.

Section 4 of 9:

Corny Dad Jokes & Puns about Fishing

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These cheesy dad jokes will have you laughing against your will. Ah, dad jokes—they’re corny, predictable, and so bad they’re good. Pull out one of these “lame” quips or puns to make your fishing buddies groan (and then chuckle, of course).
- What do you call a girl hanging off the side of a fishing boat? Annette.
- Why did the fish blush? Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.
- Why did the fisherman get kicked out of school? He was caught with seaweed.
- Why did the fish go to Hollywood? It wanted to be a starfish.
- What kind of fish gets the most fan mail? A starfish.
- What do you get when you cross a fishing lure with a gym sock? A hook, line, and stinker.
- How do you communicate with a fish? Drop it a line.^{[3]
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- Where does a fisherman go to get his hair cut? The bobber shop.
- What does any fisherman want? A gill-friend.
- What’s the difference between a fish and a piano? You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish.
- Why are fish so gullible? They fall for things hook, line, and sinker!
- Why did the husband go fishing on Valentine’s Day? To catch his wife a bouquet of flounders.
- Why did Batman and Robin quit fishing together? Because Robin ate all the worms.
- What’s a fish’s favorite show? Name That Tuna.

Section 5 of 9:

Fishing Jokes for Kids

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Share your love of fishing with the next generation through some family-friendly jokes. If you’ve got some little ones tagging along for your next fishing trip, tell one of these silly and pun-derful jokes to make your outing even more fun! These jokes are sure to make the kids excited to make their first catch:
- Where do fish sleep? On a water bed!
- What do you say if you find a fish using a toilet? Did I catch you at a bad time?
- Why do fish live in saltwater? Because pepper makes them sneeze.
- What kind of music should you listen to while fishing? Something catchy.
- What do fish take to stay healthy? Vitamin sea.
- Why are fish good lawyers? Because they like to de-bait.
- Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.
- What is the most fun game for fish to play? Salmon says.
- What do you call a fish with a tie? So-fish-ticated.
- Why did the fish always know how much it weighed? It had its own scales.
- What do you get when you cross a fish with an elephant? Swimming trunks.
- Why did the fish get bad grades? Because it was below sea level.
- What do you call a fish that practices medicine? A sturgeon.
- Why did the fish stay after school? To improve its current grades.
- What do you call a fish that wears a crown? A king-fish.

Section 6 of 9:

Dark & Dirty Fishing Jokes for Adults

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Save these jokes for a grownups-only fishing trip. If you’re into dirty jokes, these clever wisecracks are for you! Just make sure you’re out of earshot of any tiny fisherboys or fishergirls who might be casting nearby.
- What’s the best thing about ice fishing? You can get just as drunk on water as you can on land.
- One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a sexy nightgown. “Tie me up,” she said, “and you can do anything you want.” So, he tied her up and went fishing.
- What did the fisherman say to the fish that swam away? “You bass-tard!”
- What do a fisherman and a sperm donor have in common? They’re both master baiters.
- My spouse wanted to try some kinky fisherman role play last night. I’m hooked!
- What does the fisherman do when he really likes a woman? He invites her over to net-fish and krill.
- What’s the name of the X-rated photography site for fishermen? OnlyFins.
- Why is fishing better than sex? A limp rod is still useful in fishing.
- Why is fishing better than sex? No matter how much beer you’ve had, you can still fish.
- Dating is a lot like fishing. Sure, there are plenty of fish in the sea, but until I catch one, I am just stuck here holding my rod.
- What did the fisherman’s wife say to the fisherman who tried to initiate sexy time? “Not tonight, I have a haddock.”
- How is a fishing trip like a date? In both cases, you’re hoping to get a nibble and end up wet.
- Why don’t fishermen get lonely? They always have a pole in their hands and something slippery to play with.

Section 7 of 9:

Fish Jokes

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These silly fish jokes are sure to reel anyone in. We can’t finish our list of fishing jokes without the fish! These fish jokes are the perfect combo of cheesy, clever, funny, and of course, fishy:
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
- What kind of guitar does the fish play? Bass.
- What do whales eat for lunch? Fish and ships!
- What do you call 2 barracuda fish? A pairacuda.
- How does a shark greet a fish? “Pleased to eat you!”
- How do you talk to a fish? Drop it a line.
- Who is the fish’s valentine? His gil-friend!
- What do you call a fake koi fish? A de koi.
- What kind of fish go to heaven? Angelfish.
- What do you call a prehistoric fish? Prefish.
- Where do fish sleep? On the sea bed.
- What kind of fish eats mice? A catfish.
- What’s the most jealous fish? Jelly-fish.
- Where do fish go on vacation? Finland!
- What’s a pirate’s favorite fish? A swordfish.

Section 8 of 9:

Long Story Jokes about Fishing

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Spin a hilarious yarn (or line?) with these story jokes. If you’ve got a spare minute, take the time to tell someone these long jokes about fishing. The punchlines are definitely worth the wait!
- Two fishermen grabbed their poles and headed out to do some ice fishing. As they were augering a hole in the ice, they heard a loud voice from above say, “There are no fish under the ice.” They moved about 25 feet over and started to make another hole. The voice said a little stronger, “There are no fish under the ice.” They both looked around and then looked up. One fisherman said in a humble voice, “Are you God?” The voice spoke back, “No, ya idiots! I'm the ice rink attendant.”
- A monastery is in financial trouble, so it goes into the fish-and-chips business to raise money. One night, a customer knocks on its door. A monk answers. The customer asks, “Are you the fish friar?” “No,” he replies. “I’m the chip monk.”
- Jim got up bright and early one weekend and headed to the local river. He fished all day long but didn’t catch a thing. On the way home, he stopped at the fish market. “I want to buy the three biggest Steelhead you’ve got,” he said to the owner. The owner starts to bag up his order when Jim says, “No need for that, just throw them at me.” “Why would I do that?” the owner asked. “So I can tell my wife that I caught three fish today!”
- Bob’s walking down the street when he sees a kid sitting on his front porch, jigging in a bucket. As he reaches the kid, Bob stops for a better look. The bucket’s empty. He asks the kid, “What are you fishing for, son?” The kid looks up and says with a shrug, “Suckers mainly.” Bob smiles and asks, “Caught any yet?” “Yep,” the kid replies. “You’re the tenth.”
- A man walks into a seafood shack carrying a Salmon and asks, “Do you make fish cakes?” “Yes, of course,” the server replies. “Great,” says the man, “It’s his birthday!”
- One day, two guys, Frank and Bob, were out fishing. A funeral service passes over the bridge they’re fishing by, and Bob takes off his hat and puts it over his heart. He does this until the funeral service passes by. Frank said, “Gee, Bob, I didn’t know you had it in you!” Bob replied, “It’s the least I could do. After all, I was married to her for 30 years.”
- A priest was walking along the cliffs at Dover when he came upon two locals pulling another man ashore on the end of a rope. “That’s what I like to see,” said the priest. “A man helping his fellow man.” As he was walking away, one local remarked to the other, “Well, he sure doesn’t know the first thing about shark fishing.”
- A man was fishing in the jungle. After a while, another angler came to join him. “Have you had any bites?” asked the second man. “Yes, lots,” replied the first one. “But they were all mosquitoes.”
- Grandad and his grandson Billy are searching in the ground for fishing worms to use as bait. They are coming across many different insects, but nothing suitable to use for bait until little Billy proudly holds up a long dangling insect. Little Billy exclaims, “I found some bait, Grandad.” Grandad responds, “Sorry, Billy, we can't use that. It is not an earthworm.” Little Billy replies, “Well, what planet does it come from?”^{[4]
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More Jokes

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Looking for more themed jokes to keep ‘em laughing? We’ve got you covered. Check out these articles for hundreds more one-liners, puns, and hysterical jokes: