20 Erotic Foreplay Ideas to Try In Bed (Or Out of It)

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Learn about the benefits of foreplay and what men and women really need for fulfilling intimacy
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Foreplay is a fun, sensual way to get in the mood for sex, but if you feel like you’re falling into the same patterns over and over again, it might be time to shake things up. That’s why we’ve partnered with the pleasure and wellness experts at Foria to bring you a list of 20 steamy and stimulating foreplay ideas to change things up and make foreplay just as enjoyable as sex. Foria creates plant-based formulas that support intimacy and wellbeing by helping you slow down, listen closely, and reconnect with yourself, your partner, and the rhythms of your body. Keep scrolling to find your new favorite foreplay move!

Steamy Foreplay Ideas to Spice Up the Bedroom

  • Try sexting each other throughout the day to start building arousal early.
  • Initiate foreplay someplace other than the bedroom to be more spontaneous.
  • Perform a striptease or erotic dance for your partner to tantalize them.
  • Give each other a sensual massage and light, teasing touches to stimulate your senses.
  • Try acting out a sexual fantasy or recreating a previous sexy moment.
Section 1 of 4:

What is foreplay?

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  1. Foreplay is any act that builds sexual arousal and pleasure through physical or mental stimulation.
    Foreplay can include anything that helps prepare the body and mind for intercourse, like kissing, massaging, dirty talk, sexting, and more. Essentially, as long as it’s consensual, pleasurable, and gets you in the mood, it counts as foreplay![1] Some people consider oral sex, using sex toys, and mutual masturbation to be foreplay because they don’t involve penetrative vaginal or anal sex, while others argue that penetration is not the defining quality of a sexual experience. The definition doesn’t matter as long as you’re enjoying yourself. [2]
    • The goal of foreplay is pleasure, enjoyment, and connection. Intercourse does not have to follow (although it often does), and many people can orgasm from foreplay alone.
    • Is foreplay necessary? How much and what kind of foreplay you need varies from person to person and couple to couple. Some folks might enjoy prolonged foreplay all day, while others prefer to jump right into the sheets! However, foreplay definitely does help get your mind and body ready for more pleasurable and intimate sex, so while it may not be necessary (and who doesn’t love a good quickie from time to time?), it’s definitely recommended!
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Section 2 of 4:

Sexy Foreplay Ideas to Have Better Sex

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  1. Step 1 Start earlier in the day and take your time.
    Who says foreplay can only start when sex is just around the corner? Try starting your seduction earlier in the day to build arousal early. You could send a dirty text from work, put on a revealing outfit while you do some chores around the house, or even just do your partner a little favor to get them thinking about how much they like you.[3]
    • Even if you don’t get a chance to kick things off until it’s almost time to do the deed, don’t pressure yourself to rush through foreplay. Take your time, explore what feels good, and bask in the pleasure for as long as you and your partner like. Foreplay shouldn’t feel like an item on your to-do list before sex, it should feel just as enjoyable as sex if you find what feels good.
  2. Step 2 Try sexting if you’re not in the same location.
    Send a flirty, spicy text on your way home to start getting your partner in the mood before you even hit the door. You could send a dirty message, a seductive photo of yourself, or even an erotic poem you’ve crafted that describes everything you want to get up to later. Just go with whatever makes you feel sexy, playful, and excited to see your partner later.
  3. Step 3 Initiate foreplay somewhere other than the bedroom.
    Feeling like you’re caught in a foreplay rut? You don’t have to kick things off in the bedroom all the time. To be more spontaneous, try initiating foreplay in the kitchen, garage, office, living room—anywhere you typically wouldn’t do it! This keeps things exciting and off-the-cuff, making for a more fun and intimate experience.
    • You can lead your partner to the bedroom afterward, or start having intercourse right where you are. It’s up to you!
    • If things get steamy away from the bedroom (or even away from home), you’ll want a lubricant that’s easy to use on the go. Foria’s Intimacy Melts with CBD are small, easy-to-insert vaginal suppositories that gently soften to enhance intimacy and ease friction so you can reach your orgasmic potential. They’re perfect for romantic staycations, passionate sex, quickies, and longer sessions where you want to go for multiple rounds.
  4. Step 4 Change up your usual ambiance.
    One of the easiest ways to have fun foreplay is just to do something unexpected with the atmosphere. If you normally start getting frisky in the evening, try initiating in the morning or afternoon for a change of pace. You can also play with the lighting (candles, colored lights, and dimmers provide a lot of variety and ambiance), put on a different playlist than usual, or bust out a new toy you’ve been waiting to try.
    • Variety is the spice of life, so feel free to change things up any time and as often as you like!
  5. Step 5 Recreate a previous steamy moment.
    If you’ve been with your partner for a while, you might be wondering how you can put the spark back in your sex life. To relive those hot and heavy moments from the early days of your relationship, try recreating one of your first dates, grabbing a drink at one of your old watering holes, or listening to some throwback music that used to be on your sex playlist.[4]
    • As the night goes on, add in some flirtatious touching and kissing to build even more tension and arousal.
    • You could even put on an especially hot outfit you used to wear or pull out an old move you used to do in bed that turned your partner on. The spice and nostalgia are sure to make for a memorable (and pleasurable) night!
    • When a steamy moment hits, you want to be prepared for wherever the night takes you. Foria’s Pleasure Set includes 3 of their best-selling intimacy products—the Awaken Arousal Oil, Intimacy Sex Oil, and Intimacy Melts—to increase arousal, pleasure, and access to orgasm, whether you’re playing solo or with a partner!
  6. Step 6 Talk dirty.
    A little dirty talk is a great way to kick things off and get your partner turned on because it playfully engages you mentally. The best part is that you can do it in person, over the phone, or even in text messages, so you can start giving your partner dirty ideas any time and from anywhere. If you’re new to dirty talk, start simple and describe exactly what you want your partner to do to you (or what you want to do to them) in a seductive or flirty voice.
    • The earlier you start dirty talking to your partner, the more revved up they’ll be when you can finally get some alone time together.
  7. Step 7 Experiment with warm and cold sensations.
    If the same old kisses and touches are starting to feel a bit mundane, it might be time to play with some new feelings. Some hot and cold play is an exciting way to change things up. Try sucking on an ice cube before giving your partner oral sex, or slowly touch and slide it around their body to send delicious shivers up their spine.
    • If cold sounds unappealing, heat can be equally seductive. If you’re up for something new, you could drip warm wax on each other or use a warming lube that heats up through friction.
    • Not sure which is best? Alternate between them or try them both at once to see what delectable sensations arise.
  8. Step 8 Perform a striptease or a sexy dance.
    If you’re really feeling yourself and want to try something erotic, sit your partner down, put on some music that makes you feel sexy, and give them a flirty striptease to show them what they have to look forward to. For extra heat, have them start fully clothed so you can undress them yourself, or make a rule that they can only look at you (no touching until you give them permission).
  9. Step 9 Act out a fantasy or try roleplaying.
    Foreplay is a great time to indulge in your sexual fantasies and try something new. Think about what you want to try—maybe it’s a lighthearted and cliché scenario, like someone who doesn’t have enough money for the pizza delivery person, or maybe you want to pretend to be your favorite “will they/won’t they” couple from a TV show.
    • Communicate with your partner and make sure they’re on board. Use your imaginations to put yourselves in new roles and see each other in a new, enticing light.[5]
    • If things feel awkward or cheesy, challenge yourself to roleplay for just a minute or so. You might discover that you’re getting swept up in the moment!
  10. Step 10 Give your partner a sensual massage.
    What could get you in the mood more than having your stress melted away by the touch of your lover? Receiving or giving an erotic massage is a great way to relax and prepare for intimacy. Apply some warm massage oil to your partner’s erogenous zones, then rub your hands on their body with whatever intensity they prefer. Play with different motions and speeds, like slow strokes up and down their back or faster circles around their knots, and consider ending things on or near their genitals to take things to the next level.[6]
    • Foria’s Intimacy Massage Oil with Organic Botanicals is perfect for your sensual connection. Made with organic ingredients and a quick-absorbing formula, this oil is a no-mess and all-fun way to connect with your partner’s secret erogenous zones and uncover new levels of relaxation and bliss.
  11. Step 11 Watch a sexy video together, or try some erotic audio or novels.
    If you’re both into (or just intrigued by) porn, consider enjoying some together! Discuss what types of things you’d like to watch with your partner, then find a video you’re both comfortable watching. Or, if visuals aren’t your thing, you could try an erotic audiobook or reading some steamy erotica passages to each other to get your imaginations running. Afterward, tell each other what things you enjoyed watching—and might want to try soon.
    • Pro tip: We recommend searching for feminist porn sites so that you can rest easy knowing that the actors are treated, compensated, and portrayed fairly (you’ll most likely have to pay for this, but it’s a worthwhile investment to know you’re consuming ethical porn!).
    • If your hands need something to do while you watch, Foria’s Awaken Arousal Oil with CBD is the perfect way to intensify your orgasmic potential. This best-selling, all-natural oil is a natural aphrodisiac that enhances pleasure and sensitivity when applied to the vulva and clitoris. There's no other CBD arousal oil (or aphrodisiac for women) like Awaken, but don’t just take our word for it:
      • 100% of users had an improved sexual experience.
      • 92% of users agreed that Awaken Arousal Oil improved their sex drive and reported reaching orgasm.
      • 78% of users agreed that orgasms were reached more easily when using Awaken Arousal Oil.
      • 75% of users agreed that orgasms were more intense when using Awaken Arousal Oil.
      • 95% of participants agreed that they would continue using Awaken Arousal Oil (and would recommend it to a friend or family member!).
  12. Step 12 Pretend you’re strangers.
    An easy way to switch things up and get those early-romance butterflies fluttering is to just act like you don’t know each other! Head to one of your favorite bars (or a new place you’ve been wanting to try) and start flirting like you’ve never seen each other before. You could come up with interesting backstories to add some fantasy or roleplaying into the mix, or just go with the flow once you get talking. Then, you can whisk your partner home for a “one-night stand.”
  13. Step 13 Tease your partner with kisses and light touches.
    Surprise your partner with a kiss on the back of the neck while they’re doing a chore, or give them a flirty touch on the arm or back to perk up their senses and get their mind into the gutter. Follow up with more light, teasing kisses and touches to really get them going. Try using light caresses with your fingertips and soft, sensual kisses all over.
    • If you want to be more direct, sit your partner down and start touching and kissing them. To tease them, tell them that they can’t touch you back, or put them in a blindfold so they’ll be surprised (and delighted) at where your lips and fingers land.
  14. Step 14 Tickle your partner with a feather.
    Now this is one devilish way to tease and torment your lover (in a good way). Put them in a blindfold or have them close their eyes, then lightly tickle their most sensitive areas with a feather to stimulate their senses. (If you’re both feeling adventurous, you could even tie their hands together so they’re truly at your mercy.) Play around with long and slow strokes, quick and teasing tickles, and small circles over sensitive spots to drive them wild in a playful, pleasurable way.
  15. Step 15 Incorporate food (or other edible treats) into your routine.
    Choose some of your favorite fruits, chocolates, or other edible treats and enjoy feeding each other slowly and sensually. Luxuriate in the fact that you’re nourishing each other (literally and erotically) and take your time experiencing all the flavors and textures your partner is providing to you.
    • Don’t forget to take a nibble of each other, too. Light kisses, licks, and bites are super sensual (and a great way to make your lover feel like they’re a snack, too!).
  16. Step 16 Get vocal to inject some passion into your foreplay.
    You don’t have to say words to use your voice erotically. When you exhale, let yourself moan, groan, sigh, giggle, purr, or say whatever dirty word comes to mind in a low, seductive tone. This signals to your partner that you’re enjoying what they’re doing, which is bound to make them feel good (and want to continue pleasing you).
    • As things get hotter and heavier, you can start dirty talking or whispering sexy compliments into your partner’s ear.
  17. Step 17 Have fun with new and alluring scents.
    You might be surprised to hear that scents can trigger immediate emotional responses and even unlock memories.[7] So, don’t be afraid to try out new room sprays, candle fragrances, or colognes and perfumes when you go to lay the moves on your partner (think warm, musky, or sweet smells). If there’s a scent you know they respond to, you could spray it without saying a word and let their nose lead them to you.
  18. Step 18 Introduce sex toys to take things up a notch.
    Sex toys aren’t just for solo play or grand finales—they can be a fun way to shake up your foreplay, too! If you’re into BDSM, you might blindfold and handcuff your partner so their focus is purely on what you’re doing to their body. Or, you could use a vibrator and move it all over their body and erogenous areas to tease them. There’s really no right or wrong way to use a toy—as long as it feels good, it’s right![8]
    • A sex toy feels better with lube, whether you’re inserting it or sliding it over your partner’s skin. Foria’s all-natural Intimacy Sex Oil with CBD adds glide and lasting moisture to reduce friction and boost pleasure. It’s got just 2 ingredients—organic coconut oil and 400mg of CBD—that are perfect for the sensitive skin around the vulva and boosting female pleasure, whether you’re taking things soft and slow or wild and passionate.
  19. Step 19 Be a showoff.
    At the end of the day, foreplay is about feeling good and having fun, so flaunt your body and don’t be afraid to express how much you’re enjoying yourself! Confidence is sexy, so put on some lingerie, music, or mood lighting that makes you feel desirable and showcase your assets for your lover. You’ll both be in for a treat!
  20. Step 20 Communicate about what feels good (and what isn’t working for you).
    OK, this might not sound as sexy as the other tips on our list, but it’s an important one! Talk about your sexual desires with your partner, and encourage them to tell you what they enjoy and want out of foreplay, too. Communicating is the best way to ensure you both get long-term sexual satisfaction and can build the trust you need to feel truly uninhibited.[9]
    • Struggling to talk about sex? Consider speaking to a sex therapist or couples counselor for support and strategies to communicate your needs.
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Section 3 of 4:

Benefits of Foreplay

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  1. Foreplay gets your mind and body in the mood for sex and intimacy, but that’s not all.
    While foreplay’s primary purpose is to prepare you for intercourse, there are lots more benefits to be had from a few minutes of dirty talk and massaging. Engaging in foreplay can also:[10]
    • Heighten your arousal and make sexual stimulation more pleasurable.
    • Increase intimacy between you and your partner.
    • Help you discover and communicate new sexual interests and desires.
    • Provide a way to focus on sexual enjoyment outside of goal-oriented orgasming or penetrative sex. (Reveling in foreplay can be a great way to ease sexual anxiety or treat psychological erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation.)[11]
Section 4 of 4:

Do men and women have different foreplay needs?

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  1. Step 1 As it turns out, men and women have similar foreplay needs and preferences.
    There’s a popular myth that claims foreplay is mainly meant for women and that men don’t need or even want much foreplay before jumping into intercourse. However, studies show that this isn’t true! A 2004 study from the Journal of Sex Research revealed that among the 152 heterosexual couples that participated, both women and men said they wanted foreplay to last for the same amount of time (about 18 to 19 minutes).[12]
    • Interestingly, the women who were interviewed underestimated the amount of foreplay they thought men wanted, revealing the influence of sexual stereotypes (like the myth that men don’t need foreplay).
    • However, remember that every individual and couple is unique and may have different needs and preferences when it comes to foreplay.
  2. Step 2 That being said, foreplay can be especially important for women’s physical arousal.
    Foreplay helps get the body and mind ready for sex by setting the mood and stimulating your genitals and erogenous areas. For women, foreplay is often even more important since it prepares the body for intercourse by increasing vaginal lubrication, which leads to a more pleasurable sexual experience.[13]
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References

  1. ↑ https://playsafe.health.nsw.gov.au/2018/03/19/foreplay/
  2. ↑ https://www.plannedparenthood.org/blog/what-is-foreplay
  3. ↑ https://www.esquire.com/lifestyle/sex/how-to/a23901/better-foreplay-0813/
  4. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-relatable-therapist/202305/5-ways-to-rekindle-the-spark-in-your-relationship
  5. ↑ https://www.masterclass.com/articles/foreplay-guide
  6. ↑ https://www.masterclass.com/articles/foreplay-guide
  7. ↑ https://magazine.hms.harvard.edu/articles/connections-between-smell-memory-and-health
  8. ↑ https://www.masterclass.com/articles/foreplay-guide
  9. ↑ https://www.masterclass.com/articles/foreplay-guide
  1. ↑ https://playsafe.health.nsw.gov.au/2018/03/19/foreplay/
  2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/save-your-sex-life/201505/tips-and-tricks-for-managing-erectile-dysfunction-wo-pills
  3. ↑ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15497058/
  4. ↑ https://www.plannedparenthood.org/blog/what-is-foreplay

About This Article

Foria Wellness
Co-authored by:
Foria Wellness
Plant-Based Pleasure & Sexual Wellness Brand
This article was co-authored by Foria Wellness and by wikiHow staff writer, Dan Hickey. Foria Wellness is a lifestyle brand based in Los Angeles, California, that created the category for plant-based pleasure when it was founded in 2014 and has been on a mission to support lifelong sexual wellness ever since. All of Foria’s ingredients are 100% plant-based, organic & pesticide-free, with an emphasis on sustainability. From their orgasm-enhancing Awaken Arousal Oil to their period cramp-relieving CBD Melts to magnesium blends that support rest and relaxation, Foria creates effective, clean formulas that help manage the real needs of real bodies: arousal, relief, comfort, hydration, and rest.
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