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Dating Coach Emyli Lovz shares strategies for making a connection fast
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If you’ve been single for a while, you might be wondering how you can land a girlfriend—and fast. While there’s no miraculous way to make a girl fall in love with you, there are a few ways you can put yourself out there and set yourself up for success. Keep reading to learn where you can meet potential dates and how you can approach them to ask them out.

Pro Tips to Get a Girlfriend Quickly

Dating Coach Emyli Lovz says the fastest way to find a girlfriend is to date as many people as possible in a short time. Aim for 20 dates in 90 days, or 2 dates per week. Join a meetup group or a dating platform and start conversations with people. If you connect with someone, ask her out within the first 10 messages.

4

Join a new group or club.

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  1. If you have a hobby, try searching for clubs or meetup groups for your specific activity. Or, try out something new by joining a club you’ve never heard of before. You’re sure to meet some cool people, and you’ll at least make new friends out of the experience.[4]
    • Try looking for groups like this on Facebook or NextDoor.
    EXPERT TIP
    John Keegan

    John Keegan

    Dating Coach
    John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
    John Keegan
    John Keegan
    Dating Coach

    Shared experiences are a great way to forge bonds. Investing energy into building real connections will pay off!

5

Approach girls in public.

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  1. If you spot a cute girl out in public, feel free to go up to her and start chatting. If you aren't sure what to say, try commenting on something around you. Then, let the conversation flow from there.[5]
    • For instance, if you’re at a coffee shop, you might say, “I always get the same vanilla latte. What’s your drink order? I’m thinking of mixing it up.”
    • Some women might not want to be approached in public, which is fine. If the girl you’re talking to isn’t responding or looks uncomfortable, don’t push it.
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7

Ask a girl you click with to go out with you.

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8

Get to know the girl on your date.

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  1. When you hang out on your date, talk about your interests, your friends, and what you want to do in the future. If you’re both having fun, then that means you two should probably keep seeing each other! If you’re not having such a great time, it probably means you two just aren’t meant to be.[8]
    • Bad dates might happen, and that’s okay. Going out on dates is the only way to figure out if you want this girl to be your girlfriend or not (and if she wants to be yours).
    • Reader Poll: We asked 1103 wikiHow readers who've asked someone on a date, and 52% of them agreed that the best way to approach it is by taking things slow and getting to know them. [Take Poll]
10

Figure out if you’re a good fit.

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  1. Just because you guys go on a few dates doesn’t necessarily mean you two would make a good couple. If you have a fun time with her, are able to talk about a wide variety of topics, and think she’s a good person, then you’re probably a good match.[10]
    • On the flip side, if you two often run out of things to talk about, argue, or don’t really have a good time together, it might be time to set your sights elsewhere.
    • If you aren’t a good fit, let her know that the spark just isn’t there and you don’t think you guys are going to work out.
11

Ask her to be your girlfriend when you’re ready.

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Join the Discussion...

WikiLlamaGlider700
I don’t really understand how someone gets a girlfriend. Do you just sort of ask a girl you like if they want to be your girlfriend or do you do dates first before you ask? I feel embarrassed because I really don’t know and I have friends who say they take girlfriends out on dates and stuff, but I don’t want to seem like I don’t know. I have liked girls before but never did anything with them. How does the whole thing work? Where would you meet a girlfriend? What do you do with them that’s so different outside of kissing and stuff?
Lauren Sanders
Lauren Sanders
Matchmaker & Dating Coach
I think the best way to go about looking for a girlfriend is to be proactive. Place yourself in situations to meet more people. For instance, social gatherings are a wonderful way to meet new and different people. The more exposure the better. Likewise, exposing yourself via dating apps and social media is a good idea. Introverts typically do better with dating sites versus meeting in person. However, be careful not to be too desperate in your search for a girlfriend. Just think of it as a new opportunity to meet new people. And if you meet your girlfriend…it will be a plus!
wikiHow Editorial Team
You can meet girls anywhere—school, work, a coffee shop, the mall, a game store, the gym, the library, a party, a sporting event, and so on. Strike up a conversation with a girl you're interested in and spend time getting to know her. Chat and text a little bit (after exchanging numbers), then ask her out on a date.

Typically, you'll go on a few dates before asking someone to be your girlfriend or be exclusive. Then, once things are official, you keep spending time together. Find fun activities you're both interested in, like going to a concert or art gallery, playing mini-golf or going rock climbing, going out for dinner, coffee, or ice cream, seeing movies, and generally hanging out with each other.

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  • Try not to focus too much on getting a girlfriend, and instead focus on meeting cool new people. It will put less pressure on you and set you up for success.
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About This Article

Emyli Lovz
Co-authored by:
Dating and Relationship Coach
This article was co-authored by Emyli Lovz and by wikiHow staff writer, Hannah Madden. Emyli Lovz is a dating and relationship coach for men based in San Francisco, CA. With 14 years of experience, Emyli is the co-founder of emlovz alongside her husband Thomas, whom she met during a 100-date experiment at UC Berkeley. Research findings from the experiment and the data collected from male and female clients over the past 14 years are the foundation for her coaching program, Dating Decoded. Now with a team of 10 coaches, emlovz is dedicated to helping men and women find and maintain loving, healthy, and lasting relationships and empowering them to achieve their dating and relationship goals. In addition to Dating Decoded, she also offers Relationships Decoded, helping people to not only find a long-term partner but an enduring, thriving relationship. Since 2012, Emyli has guided thousands of men, and her work has been featured in Forbes, Business Insider, Newsweek, USA Today, LA Weekly, Maxim, and more. This article has been viewed 784,641 times.
5 votes - 44%
Co-authors: 20
Updated: March 7, 2026
Views: 784,641
Categories: Getting a Girlfriend
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 784,641 times.

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