Am I Demiromantic?

Take this quiz to find out if you're on the demiromantic spectrum!

People who are demiromantic usually need to form deep, emotional bonds with others in order to feel romantically attracted to them. If you're curious about this label, you've come to the right place!

Just answer these questions, and we'll let you know if it seems like you might be demiromantic. Hit that "Start Quiz" button to get started!

Remember, at the end of the day, you're in charge of how you identify. This quiz is just meant to be a helpful tool for you to explore your feelings and learn more about yourself.

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Questions Overview

1. How long does it usually take you to develop a crush on someone?
  1. If the vibes are good, it can be pretty much instant!
  2. Maybe a day or two of chatting with them.
  3. Usually, it takes a few weeks of getting to know them.
  4. Honestly, it takes several months or more for me.
2. How do you feel about casual dating?
  1. I think it's fun! I love getting swept up in new connections.
  2. It's alright. I don't dislike it, but I don't love it either.
  3. I hate it! I don't enjoy dates unless there's a deeper connection.
3. Have you ever experienced love at first sight?
  1. Nope, never.
  2. Just once or twice.
  3. A handful of times.
  4. Yup, several times!
4. Do you tend to develop crushes on people you're already friends with?
  1. Yes! I tend to crush on friends more than strangers.
  2. Sometimes, but not always.
  3. Nope! I never really crush on my friends.
5. What's most important to you in a romantic relationship?
  1. Trust & emotional connection
  2. Passion & physical chemistry
  3. Fun & exciting dates
  4. Shared interests & hobbies
6. How do you feel when you see an attractive stranger?
  1. I totally swoon and want to know them better.
  2. I notice and appreciate it, but might not do anything about it.
  3. Honestly, nothing. Looks alone just don't do it for me!
7. How many crushes would you say you have in a typical year?
  1. 0-1
  2. 2-3
  3. 4-5
  4. More than 5
8. Do you have positive or negative feelings about casual hookups?
  1. Negative. I don't think they're my thing!
  2. Somewhere in between. I'm open to them, but they aren't my fave!
  3. Positive! I think they can be fun with the right person.
9. How do you feel about online dating?
  1. I hate it! I prefer to get to know someone gradually in person.
  2. I'm indifferent about it.
  3. I love it! It's a great way to meet lots of cool people.
10. When would you be most likely to tell your significant other you love them for the first time?
  1. After a few days of dating.
  2. After a few weeks of dating.
  3. After a month or two of dating.
  4. After several months of dating or longer.

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What does it mean to be demiromantic?

When someone is demiromantic, they need to form deep, emotional bonds with others before feeling romantically attracted to them.[1] This label falls under the aromantic spectrum, though demiromantic people can in fact feel romantic attraction—the emotional connection just needs to come first.[2] We talked to LGBTQ+ identity experts for their insights, and this is what they had to say:

  • Sex educator Danielle Bezalel says that the demisexual label "refers to individuals who only experience sexual attraction after forming a deep emotional bond with someone."[3]
  • Licensed social worker and LGBTQ+ identity expert Zoe Stoller explains, "Demiromantic is an identity within the aromantic spectrum. Aromantic describes a spectrum of identities where people don't experience romantic attraction or only experience it in specific kinds of circumstances. People who are demiromantic specifically can experience romantic attraction for people, but only once they have formed a close emotional bond or some kind of connection with a person. They don't go into an experience automatically feeling that romantic attraction that other people might."[4]
  • Drag queen and makeup artist Venus Envy clarifies that it's possible to be on the aromantic spectrum but not the asexual spectrum, and vice versa: "There are some people who may identify as aromantic, which means they don't experience romantic attraction, but maybe they do experience sexual attraction. Similarly, there might be people who do experience romantic attraction, but perhaps they don't experience sexual attraction."[5]
  • LGBTQIA+ activist and educator NV Gay says it's important to remember that aromantic identities exist on a spectrum: "It is a spectrum like everything else. Just because someone is asexual or aromantic does not necessarily mean that they would not want a relationship at all [...] I know plenty of aromantic people who are married." NV says you don't need to feel pressured to fit yourself into a label—instead, explore what that label means to you specifically, and let that be your guide.[6]

Want to learn more?

For more information about what it means to be demiromantic and the aromantic/asexual spectrum in general, check out these resources:

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References

  1. ↑ https://www.them.us/story/what-does-it-mean-to-be-demiromantic
  2. ↑ https://glaad.org/reference/terms/
  3. ↑ Danielle Bezalel. Sex Educator. Expert Interview
  4. ↑ Zoe Stoller. Licensed Social Worker and LGBTQ+ Identity Expert. Expert Interview
  5. ↑ Venus Envy. Drag Queen & Makeup Artist. Expert Interview
  6. ↑ NV Gay. LGBTQIA+ Activist and Educator. Expert Interview