How do you save a dry conversation?
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Focus on asking open-ended questions, rather than yes-or-no questions. For example, if you’re getting to know a new friend or a date, you could say something like, “What was your experience like growing up in your hometown?” This allows them to answer in a longer, more thought-out way. On the other hand, if you ask a question like “Did you like your hometown?” they could just respond with a “yes” or “no,” which would make the conversation drier.
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It depends, but curiosity is one of the best ways to start an effective conversation. So when you hear something, try to get curious about it! If someone says they went to X university, then you can just go from there. "Oh great, what did you study there?" etc.
You'll notice when people talk, they'll light up about certain things. If you ask more questions about the thing the person lights up about, you're probably going to learn something. And then make sure you're listening to understand, not just waiting for your turn to speak. It's all about active listening. That's a really key component; ask questions that invite the other person to share things that they like, appreciate, or enjoy.
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You'll notice when people talk, they'll light up about certain things. If you ask more questions about the thing the person lights up about, you're probably going to learn something. And then make sure you're listening to understand, not just waiting for your turn to speak. It's all about active listening. That's a really key component; ask questions that invite the other person to share things that they like, appreciate, or enjoy.
Throw something random out! All you have to do is say is "hey, quick question" or "hey, random thought." This gives you permission to bring up just about anything.
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One way to spice up a conversation is to have preset answers to common questions that surprise people. For example, "How was your day?" Most people just say, "Good." Instead, I like to say, "I'm doing absolutely incredible." Then pause. Then I say, "But don't worry, I'll get better." That causes a laugh and immediately makes conversation easier.
Another way is to try to move quickly to talking about what we're passionate about. To do that, I like to start immediately asking questions. Try asking them about their family, their hobbies, their upcoming plans, or their goals. When they tell you something, ask them a follow-up question to probe deeper. Before you know it, you'll find something they actually want to talk about, and it'll make the conversation much better.
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Another way is to try to move quickly to talking about what we're passionate about. To do that, I like to start immediately asking questions. Try asking them about their family, their hobbies, their upcoming plans, or their goals. When they tell you something, ask them a follow-up question to probe deeper. Before you know it, you'll find something they actually want to talk about, and it'll make the conversation much better.
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