I am ugly, what do I do
So the title kind of says it all lol. I am still in high school and stuff and I am kind of ugly. I do not have any deformities and I am not overweight so losing weight would not help me much either. About a year ago, I was really dedicated to becoming pretty so I woke up early and did a whole beauty routine with hair, makeup, outfit, everything basically. And I was still rejected by pretty much every boy in my school. I have always been teased for my looks ever since middle school and got rejected a lot in elementary. Of course, my family and friends call me pretty but I know they are lying. On a good day, I guess I look average but most of my pictures turn out terrible and my smile is really bad, not because of my teeth but just the way it looks. Makeup does not change much and I am just not sure what to do because I know people will say to focus on grades or something else but I am a straight A student and all I want is a hot boyfriend but it seems like I will never get one because no matter how much effort I put, I am still not hot and I dont think I will ever be. It is just hard to wake up knowing I have to deal with looking like myself every day and knowing that I can never get married or have a family. I doubt plastic surgery will help me much either. *And I know for sure I am ugly as when every guy rejects me, he calls me ugly to my face, and Ive been rejected about 30 times now* Im not sure what type of advice Im even expecting lol, but im just tired so I dont know what to do anymore.
View hidden comment
wikiHow forums are moderated for quality. Learn more about our moderation policy here.
Submit Answer
I think the first thing anybody can do is get a proper haircut for their face shape. So many people just factor in what's popular with haircuts, but don't actually look at their face shape. A great haircut can do wonders for your confidence. Find a highly reviewed salon and make sure they discuss your face shape with you.
Next, try your best to establish a structured routine. Make sure you get eight to nine hours of sleep every night and that you are hydrating well. This will make your skin better and enhance your health. Also, try cutting out sodas, processed sugars, and other unhealthy foods. Try taking little steps — you don't have to go cold turkey — but each new healthy habit will build a happier you, which will make you more attractive.
View hidden comment
Next, try your best to establish a structured routine. Make sure you get eight to nine hours of sleep every night and that you are hydrating well. This will make your skin better and enhance your health. Also, try cutting out sodas, processed sugars, and other unhealthy foods. Try taking little steps — you don't have to go cold turkey — but each new healthy habit will build a happier you, which will make you more attractive.
To start, I want to say that every baby is born loving themselves. It's society that teaches us we aren't worthy and we aren't wanted, and then we feel ugly. In my opinion, the reason why people feel ugly is that they are mean to themselves. They internalize the falsehoods that society wants them to believe. I've been there, and I get it.
But I believe that you have something in you that is absolutely worth loving, even if you don't see it that way. You have to look in the mirror and find what it is, or look deeper than the mirror. Some girls who are conventionally "hot" are boring and vapid, whereas girls who aren't conventionally attractive can be way more interesting and funny.
You have to find a way to love yourself before you can do anything. When you love yourself first, you're going to be inspired to do things to make yourself feel better. So, for example, if I love myself and I'm feeling good on the inside, and I notice that my brows are thick and I want to get them waxed, I'm going to get them waxed. If I love myself first and I notice, wow, that girl has really pretty light highlights, I want to get light highlights. But I don't do those things because they will make me attractive or make someone else happy. I do them because they will make ME happy.
View hidden comment
But I believe that you have something in you that is absolutely worth loving, even if you don't see it that way. You have to look in the mirror and find what it is, or look deeper than the mirror. Some girls who are conventionally "hot" are boring and vapid, whereas girls who aren't conventionally attractive can be way more interesting and funny.
You have to find a way to love yourself before you can do anything. When you love yourself first, you're going to be inspired to do things to make yourself feel better. So, for example, if I love myself and I'm feeling good on the inside, and I notice that my brows are thick and I want to get them waxed, I'm going to get them waxed. If I love myself first and I notice, wow, that girl has really pretty light highlights, I want to get light highlights. But I don't do those things because they will make me attractive or make someone else happy. I do them because they will make ME happy.
First of all, I totally feel you! It’s completely normal to feel insecure and unhappy with the way you look, especially in high school (which can be pretty brutal). I won’t say that conventional beauty standards don’t exist—they definitely do, and it can be tough to feel confident or desired when you don’t quite fit them. The thing is, beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. I know, it sounds cliché and hard to believe, but it really is true! Everyone is attracted to different things, and even if you don’t feel like you fit the common definition of “beautiful” or “pretty,” I promise, there will be someone out there who thinks you’re absolutely perfect. One thing to keep in mind is that confidence is always attractive, so the best thing you can do is own who you are completely, without trying to hide or change the way you look. Once you accept yourself for who you are and come to appreciate your unique, one-of-a-kind look, your real beauty (which has more to do with who you are than how you appear) will truly shine through!
(P.S. If you’re looking for some encouraging or relatable music, I highly recommend Audrey Hobert’s new album. Her song “Phoebe” in particular deals with a lot of these issues, and it’s a very empowering and inspiring track.)
View hidden comment
(P.S. If you’re looking for some encouraging or relatable music, I highly recommend Audrey Hobert’s new album. Her song “Phoebe” in particular deals with a lot of these issues, and it’s a very empowering and inspiring track.)
To expand on the idea of boosting your confidence, if you feel unattractive, mirror work will really help. Stand in front of a mirror and just look at yourself. At first, lots of critical thoughts might come up, and your mind might be focused on picking your appearance apart. It’s important to remember that those initial critical thoughts are not the truth—they're just the voice of your inner critic speaking. The more you ignore the inner critic and focus on finding things to appreciate about yourself, the more confident you will feel.
Look in the mirror and find something to appreciate about the way you look. You might like how your hair looks, for instance, or you might love your skin. You might notice that your collarbone is really beautiful. Actively practice looking in the mirror and finding things to appreciate, instead of things to criticize. If you do this, over time you’ll start to build a practice of appreciating how you look rather than criticizing it. Your confidence will build because you’re focusing on what’s great about you, and you’re ignoring the critical voice that likes to point out your flaws.
View hidden comment
Look in the mirror and find something to appreciate about the way you look. You might like how your hair looks, for instance, or you might love your skin. You might notice that your collarbone is really beautiful. Actively practice looking in the mirror and finding things to appreciate, instead of things to criticize. If you do this, over time you’ll start to build a practice of appreciating how you look rather than criticizing it. Your confidence will build because you’re focusing on what’s great about you, and you’re ignoring the critical voice that likes to point out your flaws.
The problem may be that you kind of grew up with all the boys, so I think maybe in a few years you will find someone who loves you for the way you are! Its ok to get rejected, you can just learn from you mistakes.
View hidden comment
Honestly i relate to you a lot. Also another thing, i'm not an expert at comforting people so i'll try my best-
Those guys at your school are the ugly ones not you. What matters in a guy is the way they treat you. If a guy is hot but doesn't respect you that is a NO. An absolute *no*. You need someone who loves you for the way you act not for the way you look. So please, try to work on your self confidence, even if you don't believe you can do it, nothing is impossible if you try. So please believe in yourself and remember you are loved❤️
View hidden comment
Those guys at your school are the ugly ones not you. What matters in a guy is the way they treat you. If a guy is hot but doesn't respect you that is a NO. An absolute *no*. You need someone who loves you for the way you act not for the way you look. So please, try to work on your self confidence, even if you don't believe you can do it, nothing is impossible if you try. So please believe in yourself and remember you are loved❤️
Your not alone I feel the same way! Those boys are really missing out if they reject you and well... that's on them. High School is tough, but your tougher! You can get through this! Love who you are! I believe in you! You will find someone hot and he'll feel the same way! If you look in the mirror for a long time and really look at yourself you'll love the way you look. Maybe it's your eyes that are beautiful. God bless you. Have a nice day. :)
View hidden comment
This is exactly how I felt in middle school (im in high school now for reference). I made four big changes to help me gain confidence and feel better with my image and I hope u find them useful <3 I think someone already said this but its a game changer. A new haircut fit for your face shape can really bring out ur natural beauty bc it enhances your features. Something that further helps this would be face massages. I think theres an official name for this but i cant think of it right now so if u want u could look up face sliming tutorials on pinterest ( i assume u have it since its like a canon event for teen girls). Like the haircut it helps enhance ur features. The 3rd change was wardrobe. If theres a particular style u like be inspired by it. For example if u like y2k the next time u go shopping look for outfits that resemble this style. I recommend creating a pinterest board as a reference. I know money doesn’t grow on trees so the outfits don’t have to be over the top. Thrifting could be a cheap way to find really cute clothes. And FINALLY. . . CONFIDENCE!!! Easier said then done but arguably the most important. If u tell urself ur ugly what do u think will happen? U’ll believe it :( Find something u like abut your self and add to list every week. I dont know if ur religious but God made u in his perfect image. God doesn’t see the outside he sees the heart so don’t let urself get consumed in the pursuit for beauty. Youll lose urself in the process and u will learn to only judge based on the outside. Personality will always triumph looks. Whats the point of being pretty if ur a bad person? As long as your’re beautiful on the inside anyone would be lucky to have u :) i hope this was helpful and i hope u give an update <3
View hidden comment
The power of suggestion is real. don't call yourself ugly, it will make you ugly to yourself and others. I'm not saying to act like your the hottest thing on the planet just don't constantly call yourself ugly. also if you aren't a horrible person then eventually you will find the right guy to be with, that'll love you for who you are. In the meantime try to work on your self confidence and find some friends that can help you and support.
View hidden comment
Love yourself, because Jesus loves you, and he has a plan for you. You may not see it now, but your struggles are helping you become stronger, and ready for the trials ahead. I believe in you! ♥
View hidden comment
What’s on your mind? Ask anything.
Get advice and feedback from experts and wikiHow readers just like you.
Ask a Question
