I want to understand how to navigate this situation, manage my emotions, and maintain healthy boundaries while staying in contact. About a month ago, my ex and I were having frequent arguments, and sometimes she would disrespect me. I later realized that a lot of this happened because I was trying to maintain a “nice” relationship, and in the process, I lost myself — my confidence, my sense of masculinity, and my ability to make her feel safe.
I discovered that she has an avoidant attachment style — whenever she felt hurt or unsafe, she would push me away. This, combined with my own emotional low points, made things worse, and eventually, we took a break. Things seemed to improve for a while, but ultimately she ended the relationship.
Even after the breakup, she continued to follow me on social media, and we remained active on Snap and Pinterest. She still clearly values me and the relationship we had — I know I meant a lot to her, and she cared deeply about me.
Recently, she mentioned that another guy approached her and gave her his number. I assume she may have texted him, but I don’t know for sure. Knowing her, I don’t think she’s the type to jump from one guy to another — we were together for 2 years, and the main reason she ended things seems to be that I lost myself and wasn’t providing the safety, confidence, and emotional stability she needed.
She also seemed to try to make me jealous, maybe to push me away and get me to move on. That didn’t really work for me, although it did affect me a little.
At one point, seeing that person’s name in her follow list hurt me, so I unfollowed her on Instagram, but I kept contact on Snap and Pinterest. Now, when I try to follow her again, she hasn’t accepted my request, but she’s still sending snaps. Lately, her snaps have become fewer and more dry.
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