85 Funny 50th Birthday Quotes and Messages

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Plus, learn what makes turning 50 truly special

Co-authored by Dan Hickey

Last Updated: December 14, 2025 Fact Checked

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Short & Sweet

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For Friends

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For Women

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For Men

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Quotes

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Sending Your Wish

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Why is 50 special?

They say fifty is nifty, and so are these hilarious birthday wishes for the special 50-year-old in your life! Keep scrolling for funny birthday wishes and quotes that are sure to make the birthday guy or gal keel over with laughter (just be careful—you might have to help them back up!).

Our Favorite Funny 50th Birthday Wishes

“50 is when your back goes out more than you do. Happy birthday!”
“Are you an AARP member yet? Happy 50th birthday!”
“At 50, you finally stop caring what people think…mostly because you can’t hear them.”
“Now that you're 50, it's totally fine to repeat stories. Your friends forgot them, too.”
“Fifty looks great on you. Especially from a distance, in soft lighting. Happy birthday!”
“Don't let ageing get you down. It's too hard to get back up again!”
“Middle age is when your age starts showing around your middle.” —Bob Hope

Section 1 of 7:

Short & Funny “Happy 50th Birthday” Wishes

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Make the fresh 50-year-old chuckle with a short and simple message. You don’t need to write a novel to make someone feel special (or laugh!) on their birthday. These short and sweet 50th birthday wishes are perfect for a card, text, shoutout on social media, or even a cake!
- “50 is when your back goes out more than you do. Happy birthday!”
- “If you haven’t grown up by 50… you don’t have to. Enjoy your birthday!”
- “50: the perfect age to start lying about your age.”
- “50 is just five perfect 10s. Happy 50th!”
- “Welcome to 50—where bedtime is the new happy hour.”
- “Fifty is just 13 in Celsius.”
- “You’re not old! You’re retro!”
- “Forget counting candles… It’s a fire hazard waiting to happen. Happy 50th!”
- “Welcome to the 50 club, where naps are sacred and stretchy pants rule.”
- “50? Been there, done that, can’t remember half of it.”
- “You’re aging like a fine wine… or maybe more like vinegar. Either way, bottoms up!”
- “Fifty is the new…what was I saying again?”
- “Are you an AARP member yet? Happy 50th birthday!”^{[1]
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- “Thank you for reminding me that I’m still not as old as you yet. Happy 50th birthday!”
- “You almost have as much grey hair as I do! Happy 50th birthday!”
- “Now that you are an old 50-year-old, you now only have 10 years before I call you an old 60-year-old. Happy birthday!”
- “Every birthday of yours is a reminder to me that I’m not the oldest person here! Happy 50th birthday!”
- “I hope you already saved enough money for retirement because it’s time that we spend a good chunk of it today! Happy 50th birthday!”
- “Old age is like underwear...it creeps up on you. Happy 50th birthday!”
- “You know you're 50 when getting lucky means a short wait in the doctor's office. Happy birthday!”

Section 2 of 7:

Funny “Happy 50th Birthday” Wishes for Friends

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Give your friends the gift of laughter for the big 5-0. You’ve probably spent years joking around with your friend already—why not continue the tradition on their 50th birthday? You can gently roast them for their age, make a crack about how their body is changing, or comment on their slipping memory. Just remember to keep it lighthearted and fun to avoid offending them (if you have to ask yourself if they’d take your joke well, that’s probably a sign to try something a little tamer).
- “Congratulations! You’re not 50—you’re just 20 with 30 years of experience.”
- “You know you’re 50 when getting lucky means finding your car in the parking lot. Happy birthday!”
- “Turning 50 means you’ve finally learned the secret to life. Unfortunately, you can’t remember it.”
- “Cheers to 50! Still young enough to laugh at yourself and old enough to know how necessary that is.”
- “Don’t think of it as turning 50. Think of it as hitting Level 50 in the game of life. Happy birthday!”
- “At 50, you finally stop caring what people think…mostly because you can’t hear them.”
- “You’ve officially reached the age where every compliment is followed by ‘for your age.’ Happy 50th!”
- “The older we get, the brighter our birthday cake becomes. See? It’s all filled with burning candles. Have fun blowing it all out!”
- “It is said that as we grow older each year, we become more open-minded and understanding. So, you’d understand if I didn’t buy you a gift, right? Congrats to you on your special day!”
- “Happy 50th birthday! I couldn’t decide if you needed a walker or a cane, so I just got you this Amazon gift card instead.”
- “It is never too late to grow up and stop being dumb. Maybe your 50th birthday is your chance to do just that? Happy cake day.”
- “A ‘midlife crisis’ is just a label that is given to older folks to stop them from being their best self. Screw those labels and live life to the fullest. Happy 50th birthday!”
- “Who cares about getting older? Plastic surgery can fix those wrinkles and lumps. Happy 50th birthday!”
- “You’ve now got half a century of learned knowledge and wisdom! That would be great…if you could remember any of it.”
- “I would make a joke about how you’re getting really old, but I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. Then again, you probably won’t remember any of it since you’re getting so old. Happy 50th birthday!”
- “Well, you’re in your 50s now, which means you can forget about mortgages, contraception, and your kid’s allowances. You’ll probably forget everything else as well, but at least now you’ll have an excuse!”
- “Now that you’re 50, I would tell you that you should let your hair down and enjoy your day, only you’ve probably got more hair where you don’t want it and less hair where you do want it. Either way, enjoy your birthday!”
- “If you were a dog, you would be around 213 years old today. So, don’t feel so bad about your age. At least you’re aging like a human, right? Happy 50th!”
- “Your 40s are behind you now, which means that you’ve probably got your midlife crisis out of your system! You can relax now. Happy birthday!”
- “If you can still blow up all your birthday balloons without passing out, then you earn the right to still feel ‘young' at 50. Happy 50th birthday!”

Section 3 of 7:

Funny “Happy 50th Birthday” Wishes for Women

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Let the birthday gal know she’s just as fun, charming, and gorgeous as ever. Poke fun at the hysteria around wrinkles and gray hair with a friendly joke about getting older, or deliver a cheeky compliment about how your 50s are when your true diva comes out. Nothing says you can’t be fierce and fabulous after 50, after all!
- “Happy 50th! You’re still hot—it just comes in flashes.”
- “50 and fabulous (with a little help from caffeine and concealer). Happy birthday!”
- “They say 50 is the new 30…but your knees didn’t get the memo.”
- “Fifty: when your memory starts to go, but you can still remember the good wine.”
- “At 50, you’ve earned every laugh line—and the right to ignore people who annoy you.”
- “Fifty looks great on you. Especially from a distance, in soft lighting. Happy birthday!”
- “Turning 50 means you’ve finally graduated from high heels to orthopedic chic.”
- “Congratulations! You’re now in the club where birthdays are celebrated with brunch and Bengay.”
- “50 is when you finally become the woman your younger self was terrified of, and that’s power, baby.”
- “Fifty: when you know what you want, and it's usually wine and quiet.”
- “Happy 50th birthday! You don't look even close to 50, and that's a really, really annoying thing about you.”
- “You may no longer be young as you turn fifty. But nothing is stopping you from being naughty and nifty. Happy birthday!”
- “Don't worry, those aren't wrinkles. They’re smile lines, and each one is as beautiful as you. Wishing you all the best on your 50th birthday!”
- “It's amazing how good you look for your age, considering everything we've been up to over the years. Happy 50th!”
- “Happy birthday to someone who's 50 in body and 15 in mind.”

Section 4 of 7:

Funny “Happy 50th Birthday” Wishes for Men

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Crack a friendly joke at the birthday gent’s expense to make aging less intimidating. Thinning hair, creaky joints, and a future full of dad jokes…a guy’s 50th birthday is ripe for comedy! Take a playful jab at your pal’s mature age to remind him that getting older can still be fun and full of laughter.
- “At 50, you finally get to start blaming everything on your age: forgetfulness, weight gain, and dad jokes included.”
- “You’ve officially entered the ‘pull my finger’ era of life. Happy 50th!”
- “At your age, ‘getting lucky’ means a good night’s sleep and waking up without back pain.”
- “You know you’re 50 when you bend down to tie your shoe and wonder what else you can do while you're down there.”
- “Turning 50 means it's finally acceptable to groan every time you stand up. Happy birthday!”
- “Fifty years and still no sign of maturity. Impressive!”
- “Half a century of being awesome (with just a few technical difficulties along the way). Happy 50th!”
- “Welcome to 50: where you know better, but you still forget stuff all the time.”
- “Now that you're 50, it's totally fine to repeat stories. Your friends forgot them, too.”
- “Don't let ageing get you down. It's too hard to get back up again!”
- “You know you're 50 when your back is hairier than your head. Happy birthday!”
- “At 50, you're not old. You're worn-out, impatient, jaded, set in your ways, and weathered… but you're not old. Happy 50th birthday!”
- “You know you're 50 when you're in an elevator and your favorite song comes on.”
- “Middle age is when a man has got a handle on life and life has put handles on his waist. Enjoy your birthday, old man!”
- “A man has reached middle age when he's warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police.”
  —Henry Youngman

Section 5 of 7:

Funny Quotes for a 50th Birthday

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Quote a funny famous figure if you’re at a loss for words. Not sure what to write in your birthday card? Just pick a funny quote about birthdays or aging from a comedian, author, or public figure the birthday person admires and breathe a sigh of relief! Here are some hilarious options for inspiration:
- “Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.”
  —Chili Davis
- “You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.”
  —Ogden Nash
- “I’m at an age where my back goes out more than I do.”
  —Phyllis Diller
- “The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”
  —Lucille Ball
- “Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.”
  —Jennifer Yane
- “The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down.”
  —T.S. Eliot
- “Looking 50 is great—if you’re 60.”<br—Joan Rivers
- “When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.”
  —Mark Twain
- “Middle age is when your age starts showing around your middle.”
  —Bob Hope
- “My mother always used to say, ‘The older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana.’”
  —Betty White^{[2]
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- “I mean, I’m not a kid anymore. I could go tomorrow. And I hope I go tomorrow. I haven’t gone today yet.”
  —Rodney Dangerfield
- “Nobody told you what a drag it was, getting older. Or at least, people did tell you, but you ignored them, because they were old.”
  —Mick Herron
- “Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.”
  —Maurice Chevalier
- “People say, ‘How do you stay looking so young?’ I say, well, good lighting, good doctors, and good makeup.”
  —Dolly Parton
- “If God wanted us to bend over, he would put diamonds on the floor.”
  —Joan Rivers

Section 6 of 7:

Sending Your Birthday Wish

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Send your funny birthday wish in a card, in a text, or on a personalized gift. You’ve crafted the perfect, hilarious 50th birthday wish, and now it’s time to send it! Here are some fun and easy ways to spread birthday cheer and make the birthday guy or gal feel special:
- Cards: Pick a funny 50th birthday card with unique artwork from sites like Etsy or Cardly.
- Texts/DMs: Send them a quick morning text or direct message online so they start their birthday on a positive note.
- Social media: Post a picture of you with the birthday person and use your wish as the caption.
- Personalized gifts: Have your birthday wish engraved onto a gift for an extra special touch. Jewelry, T-shirts, or wine glasses are all great options!
- Party decor: Order a banner or yard sign with your birthday message on it to display at their birthday party.

Section 7 of 7:

What’s special about turning 50?

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Your 50s are when you truly know who you are and how to give back. According to licensed clinical psychologist Vernita Marsh, PhD, “I think after 50 can be some of [a person’s] happiest times. It has a lot to do with how you view aging. This is the time when you come into your own in terms of being wiser, having more knowledge, having a greater sense of purpose, being able to be generous, and learning from many of your mistakes.”^{[3]
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Vernita Marsh, PhD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Expert Interview}
- Dr. Marsh adds that your 50s are also a time to get “reinvigorated in terms of interests, activities, exercise, and also being in touch with one's spirituality and connection to the world. Giving back to the community, I think, is a very important piece of happiness” at this age.^{[4]
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  Vernita Marsh, PhD
  Licensed Clinical Psychologist
  
  Expert Interview}