What Makes an Ideal Partner? Real Users and Relationship Experts Tell All

Download Article

Read on for insights from thousands of wikiHow readers

Co-authored by Lauren Sanders and Annabelle Reyes

Last Updated: November 12, 2025 Fact Checked

Download Article

Qualities of an Ideal Partner

|

Finding Your Ideal Partner

|

Relationship Guides

Everyone dreams of finding their perfect match, but what exactly makes someone an ideal romantic partner? Are there specific qualities that you should look for while dating to increase your odds of finding The One? If you’re interested in the answers to these questions, look no further! We compiled data from quizzes and polls to explain what our readers think makes an “ideal partner,” and we’ve also consulted relationship experts for their takes on the topic. Keep reading for everything you need to know!

Qualities to Look for in an Ideal Partner

Matchmaker and dating coach Lauren Sanders says that common traits to look for in an ideal partner include good communication skills, selflessness, patience, and an overall giving spirit. We also asked 59,345 of our readers how they’d describe their ideal partner, and 62.9% of them said loyal, caring, and protective.

Section 1 of 3:

What are the qualities of an ideal partner?

Download Article

1
Kind When it comes to the qualities of an ideal partner, “Kindness is number one,” says life and relationship coach Lisa Shield.^{[1]
X
Expert Source

Lisa Shield
Dating Coach

Expert Interview} Look for someone who is genuinely nice to you and to the people around them. Ultimately, you want to be with someone who has a strong moral compass and good character, and kindness is a big sign of these things.
- When asked what characteristic they find most attractive in a potential partner, a majority of wikiHow readers (47%) chose kindness!
Meet the wikiHow Experts

Lauren Sanders is a professional matchmaker, dating coach, and the founder of Dating for the Soul. She specializes in helping singles find love.

Shana Tibi is a certified professional matchmaker and the founder of Curated Connections, a matchmaking service for single professionals.

Lauren Urban, LCSW, is a licensed psychotherapist with over 16 years of experience and the owner of Psychobabble Therapy in Brooklyn, New York.

Luis Congdon is a relationship coach specializing in helping couples who want a long and happy relationship.

Alison Wellington is a certified dating and relationship coach and the founder of Align with Alison, a coaching company dedicated to helping women find the partner they deserve.
2
Emotionally intelligent When it comes to finding The One, it’s important to look for someone who is in tune with their emotions and others’ emotions.^{[2]
X
Research source} This makes them much more likely to be able to understand your emotions and support you through them!
- We asked our readers what they find most attractive in a romantic partner, and the majority (45%) chose “a strong sense of empathy and emotional intelligence” over other options.
- Based on our Types of Men quiz, 54.7% of readers said that one thing their partner has to have is emotional intelligence (meaning he has an understanding of his emotions and yours).
Advertisement
An ideal partner is someone who’s naturally compassionate and can put themselves in others’ shoes. In fact, empathy is “everything when it comes to romantic relationships,” says certified professional matchmaker Shana Tibi. “That’s going to be the foundation and what propels a relationship to the next level in a month, in five years, in ten years, when you’re raising kids together,” she explains.^{[3]
X
Expert Source

Shana Tibi
Certified Professional Matchmaker

Expert Interview}
4
Supportive The ideal partner is a warm, supportive person who’s always there for you. Whether you need someone to vent to when you’re sad or someone to cheer you on while you go after a goal, you can count on them no matter what.
- We asked 13,375 people, “If my partner did this, I’d be thrilled,” and the majority (45.9%) responded with, “Listened to me vent about my problems. Everybody needs a shoulder to cry on.”
5
Understanding Every relationship involves some level of conflict, so a willingness to understand someone else’s point of view or opinion is key.^{[4]
X
Research source} An ideal partner is someone who can respect and understand your perspective, even when it’s very different from theirs.
- We asked 15,529 people what their biggest pet peeve in a relationship is, and the majority (34.5%) responded with “when someone refuses to understand my point of view.”
6
Caring and protective According to Sanders, “Your soulmate will do anything and everything to make sure you are taken care of and won’t make you feel bad about it.” “They’ll be genuinely concerned about your well-being,” she says.^{[5]
X
Expert Source

Lauren Sanders
Matchmaker & Dating Coach

Expert Interview} This is a pretty popular opinion with our readers, too.
- We asked 59,345 people to describe their ideal partner, and an overwhelming majority (62.9%) chose “loyal, caring, and protective” over other options.
- For example, an ideal partner would cheer you up with a thoughtful gesture if they knew you were having a hard day. They might surprise you with a coffee and snack at work if you overslept and didn’t get to have breakfast. Or, they would have dinner waiting for you on the table if you had to stay late to get something done at work or school.
- They’d also go out of their way to make sure you feel safe and secure. This could be anything from giving you their jacket when you’re cold to standing up for you when someone is being unkind to you.
7
Loyal You won’t need to worry about where your ideal partner stands with you—they’ll be endlessly loyal and committed. They won’t keep you guessing about whether or not they’re in it for the long haul; they’ll show you that they are through their actions. This seems to be a pretty important quality to our readers, too.
- We asked 29,542 people what they value most in a partner, and the majority of readers (39.5%) chose “Loyalty. Commitment matters.”
8
Trustworthy A romantic partnership is nothing without trust. Licensed professional counselor Tara Vossenkemper, PhD, LPC, also agrees, identifying “high levels of trust” as a hallmark of good marriages.^{[6]
X
Expert Source

Tara Vossenkemper, PhD, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor

Expert Interview}
- Out of 47,918 users who took our Am I Ready for a Relationship Quiz, 80.2%, or 38,430 people, said “communication and trust” are what make a relationship work long-term.
- We also asked our readers what they think is the foundation of an ideal relationship, and a majority of them (41.1%) said complete trust.
9
Patient Sanders calls out this quality as one of the most important traits to look for in a soulmate.^{[7]
X
Expert Source

Lauren Sanders
Matchmaker & Dating Coach

Expert Interview} In a long-term romantic relationship, you’re bound to run into a few roadblocks, frustrations, and obstacles, both as a couple and as individuals. Because of this, an ideal partner is someone patient and levelheaded who won’t fly off the handle at the slightest inconvenience.
- Users who took our What Do I Want in a Man? Quiz agree—when asked about the qualities their partner must have, the majority (48.8%) chose patience and gentleness.
“Selflessness” and “an overall giving spirit” are key traits to look out for on your search for The One, says Sanders.^{[8]
X
Expert Source

Lauren Sanders
Matchmaker & Dating Coach

Expert Interview} An ideal partner is someone who really means it when they say, “What’s mine is yours.” They’re not keeping stock of all the things they do for you, hoping for something in return—they’re just genuinely giving, and they’re willing to sacrifice for you, just like you are for them.
11
Mature and stable An ideal partner is someone who has gone through all their growing pains and now truly knows who they are. They’re ready to settle down and commit to someone, and they’re in it for the long haul, not for a casual or impulsive fling.
- When asked what quality they value most in a romantic partner, the majority of our readers (31%) chose “maturity and emotional stability.”
12
Passionate Passion is a pretty darn attractive quality, so it’s no surprise that people seem to value it so highly in an ideal partner. Beyond having individual interests and passions that make them unique, the ideal partner also inspires passion and excitement in you.
- When asked about the most important trait they look for in a woman, the majority (40.6%) of 25,364 respondents who took our What Is My Type of Girl? Quiz chose “passion.”
- When asked about how they hope their partner will influence them and their life in our Zodiac Compatibility Quiz, the second-highest amount of our readers (28%) chose, “They ignite a spark of passion and adventure within me.”
13
Physically affectionate We’ve covered mostly emotional traits above, but physical compatibility is also super important when it comes to finding The One. If you’re a really touchy-feely person or your love language is physical touch, an ideal partner is someone who can match your energy in this area.^{[9]
X
Research source}
- If physical touch is pretty darn important to you, you’re not alone! 57,645 participants in our Love Language Quiz were asked how they’d want their partner to help if they had a bad day, and 'an overwhelming majority (64.5%) chose “Be waiting at home with open arms. Sometimes a hug is all you need.”
- In the same quiz, a majority of respondents (44.2%) chose “cuddling every night before bed” when asked what routine they’d love most in a relationship.
14
Good communication skills Sanders says a potential soulmate will be someone who “possess[es] good communication skills.”^{[10]
X
Expert Source

Lauren Sanders
Matchmaker & Dating Coach

Expert Interview} Relationships require all kinds of conversations about a wide range of topics, from lighthearted matters to serious life decisions, so it’s no wonder that communication skills are so important to people.
- In our Am I Ready for a Relationship? Quiz, a whopping 80.2% of respondents chose “communication and trust” when asked what makes a relationship work long-term.
- With this in mind, it also makes sense that people would be pretty frustrated when a potential partner doesn’t possess this quality. In our Love Language Quiz, when asked what kind of partner would bother them most, 36.8% of 57,641 respondents chose “someone who can’t communicate a feeling to save their life.”
15
Open and willing to be vulnerable An ideal partner is someone who doesn’t keep you guessing about how they’re feeling. Instead, they’re willing to be open and vulnerable in front of you, even when it’s scary, which in turn makes you feel comfortable doing the same. Our readers clearly value vulnerability pretty highly, too.
- In our Types of Men Quiz, we asked 37,382 of our users what they would hate in a relationship, and the majority (41.2%) of them chose “If he wouldn’t open up.”
16
Respectful When someone is rude, condescending, or impatient with the people around them, this is a pretty big indicator of how they’ll act toward you eventually. With this in mind, it’s pretty important to look for someone who is naturally respectful and polite, no matter who they’re talking to!
- When asked what trait of a potential partner is the biggest turn-off, the majority (46%) of poll respondents chose “disrespectfulness.”
- Being respectful to one’s parents is an especially important thing to look out for, and data from our What Do I Want in a Man Quiz backs this up. We asked our readers to pick an “ick,” or a trait that’s an instant turn-off, and the majority (43.5%) chose, “When he’s not nice or not respectful to his mom. Ew!”
17
Considerate of your boundaries When you’re with the right person, they’ll make an effort to understand why your boundaries are what they are, and they won’t try to push you on them. “People want to feel safe. They want to feel comfortable. They want to feel respected and loved. And all of that has to do with boundaries,” explains Tibi. In fact, this quality is so important that Tibi recommends pausing and examining whether or not a relationship is really working if you feel like your boundaries are being constantly overstepped.^{[11]
X
Expert Source

Shana Tibi
Certified Professional Matchmaker

Expert Interview}
- Data from our Zodiac Compatibility Quiz backs this up. When asked what their biggest relationship pet peeve is, 30.3% of 15,528 respondents chose “When someone doesn’t respect my boundaries.”

Section 2 of 3:

Expert Advice for Finding Your Ideal Partner

Download Article

Take some time to really think about who you are and what you want. It sounds corny, but the key to finding your perfect match really does lie within. When you understand yourself well and are aware of the things that truly matter to you in a relationship, you’re better able to look for these things in a potential partner. And, at the end of the day, your ideal match will be someone who suits you super well as a long-term companion. Our readers agree on this—we asked 29,546 of them what they hope to gain from a relationship, and the majority (62.9%) said companionship. Here are helpful tips from our relationship experts on finding the perfect person for you:
- Figure out what your own values are. “I often tell people to think of a set of values that they would like their person to embody, that would align with the set of values they want to live their [own life] based on,” explains licensed psychotherapist Lauren Urban, LCSW. “Look for somebody who matches that.”^{[12]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Lauren Urban, LCSW
  Licensed Psychotherapist
  
  Expert Interview}
- Make a list of dating non-negotiables. “We need to lead with what your non-negotiables are,” says certified dating coach Alison Wellington. “What are the things that you are looking for in order for a relationship to be healthy and fulfilling?”^{[13]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Alison Wellington
  Certified Dating Coach
  
  Expert Interview}
- Think about the traits you’d want in a co-parent. “Make a list of what you hope the future parent of your child will be. What values do they have? What are they like?” suggests matchmaker and dating expert Maria Avgitidis.^{[14]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Maria Avgitidis
  Matchmaker & Dating Expert
  
  Expert Interview} Even if you aren’t ready to have kids, this exercise helps you zero in on the traits you’d want in a long-term life partner.
- Spend some time imagining your ideal partner. It may sound silly, but it can actually help! “Some of the most beautiful couples I’ve ever met told me that they spent time in their heads and in their heart with their idealized partner prior to meeting them,” says relationship coach Luis Congdon.^{[15]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Luis Congdon
  Relationship Coach
  
  Expert Interview}