What is the Red Shirt Method and Does It Really Work?

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Dating coach Erika Kaplan provides an expert analysis of this viral TikTok dating advice

Co-authored by Erika Kaplan and Luke Smith, MFA

Last Updated: October 23, 2025 Fact Checked

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• What is the Red Shirt Method?
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• Does it work?
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• How to Be Confident & Charismatic
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• Video
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• Tips

|Show more |Show less

You might’ve seen videos on TikTok referencing something called the “Red Shirt Method,” which appears to be a dating hack that promises to change your life. But what is it, exactly? Does it really work? We’re here to answer your burning questions and, with the help of dating coaches Erika Kaplan and Joshua Pompey, give you actual tips for improving your dating life.

Red Shirt Method Explained

According to dating coach Erika Kaplan, the Red Shirt Method is a theory that wearing red will make you stand out and seem more attractive, which might help you get dates. It’s mostly based on pseudoscience, but it is true that wearing red can grab people’s attention and make you seem more confident.

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Section 1 of 3:

What is the Red Shirt Method?

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1. 
   The Red Shirt Method says wearing red helps you attract what you want. Kaplan says, “It’s a theory that wearing red makes you stand out and seem more attractive, as people often associate red with passion and confidence. Even just a pop of red can catch someone’s eye.” On TikTok, the Red Shirt Method is often suggested for dating. According to the method, the color red is ideal for grabbing attention and feeling like your best self, so wearing red can help you achieve your goals and get what you want, whether that’s career success, romance, or anything else.

   • When you see the method mentioned online, it’s usually accompanied by an AI-generated video “explaining” the idea, though the videos leave you with questions rather than answers.
   • There are also a number of videos explaining how to “break a girl’s ego after she rejects you,” all using similar scripts, and all mentioning the Red Shirt Method, suggesting the videos have all been sponsored.
   • Mostly, references to the method seem to point back to a link to purchase a book on the topic, suggesting that the whole trend is a way for someone to make some money on self-help book sales.

   Meet the wikiHow Experts

   Erika Kaplan is a dating coach and matchmaker for Three Day Rule, an exclusive matchmaking company across nine cities in the United States. She has over six years of experience helping singles find quality matches.

   Joshua Pompey is a Relationship Expert with over 15 years in the industry who helps his clients navigate online dating and has a success rate of over 99%.
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Section 2 of 3:

Does the red shirt method work?

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1. 
   The red shirt method has some evidence, but it’s not a dating “cheat code.” When you see videos about the method online, they’ll claim it’s some miracle secret that will make you into the perfect version of yourself using color theory. Well, it’s not a miracle, and probably won’t change your life overnight, but like any good scheme, it’s rooted in a grain of truth, which is the color theory part. Turns out, red is indeed a powerful color:

   • Kaplan notes, “I think there is some truth to it in that it's an eye-catching and bold color, but I also think it only works if you think it works. The real magic is confidence–so, if wearing red makes you feel bold, brave, and sexy, others will pick up on that. When you feel good in what you’re wearing, it shows, and that’s always attractive!"
   • Studies show that the color red is striking, engaging, and attracts people’s emotional attention. So wearing red is a good tip if you want to stand out.
   • Studies also show that people ask more intimate questions to people who are wearing red. So wearing red can be good for getting closer to someone.
   • Red is also associated with emotions like love, power, passion, and confidence. So when someone sees you wearing red, they may associate those qualities with you.

Section 3 of 3:

Being More Confident and Charismatic

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1. 
   1
   Wear red to be more confident and to stand out. Pompey tells us that looking your best is important. That’s where the Red Shirt Method can help. While the Red Shirt Method is a little sketchy, it’s true that wearing red can boost your confidence and grab people’s attention. When you’re out on a date or just want to impress someone, wear red clothing. Red is the color of power and confidence, so when you wear red, other people may see that as a sign of your passionate personality.

   • Try not to overdo it. A simple red dress with red lipstick is striking, or black slacks with a red-button down is subtle but effective.
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   Ask people questions about themselves. Pompey says that confidence in dating and socializing is something you get with practice. Practice that skill simply by asking people open-ended questions about themselves. This helps you start a conversation without speaking too much yourself. People like it when other people are interested in them, so questions are your secret weapon.

   • For example, ask them where they grew up, if they enjoyed the experience, or if they have any fond memories from childhood.
   • Don’t be afraid of small talk, which is just a stepping stone on your way to big talk.
3. 
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   Give people space to avoid seeming clingy. Pompey suggests that one great way to make people think about you more is actually to step back. He says to avoid constant communication, but also to respond in a casual, reasonable amount of time to show them that they’re important to you. When someone texts you, respond when it’s convenient, but don’t rush to the phone.

   • Instead, wait a few hours. This also helps you come up with a thoughtful and worthwhile response.
4. 
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   Make eye contact and keep open body language. Pompey reminds us that body language is everything when it comes to knowing whether or not someone is interested in you, and in letting them know you’re interested, too. Make eye contact, smile naturally, and even throw in some light touches on their shoulder or elbow when you speak to them.

   • Avoid crossing your arms or leaning away, which can come across as closed-off or nervous.
   • Instead, face your torso toward them and lean in slightly to show that you’re interested and engaged.
5. 
   5
   Remember that other people are just as complicated as you are. Pompey assures us that the more we interact with people, the more we realize that “people really aren't that scary when you approach them in a nice way.” If you get nervous, remind yourself that the person you’re talking to has their own problems, insecurities, worries, and fears. It helps humanize them and make them more approachable.
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• In sports, a “red shirt” is someone who sits out of games but stays on the team to make sure they can receive college financial aid and keep practicing while they’re training to play for real.
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