What Is "The Bird Test" On TikTok & How Does It Work?

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Clinical therapist Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP shares the psychological basis of this theory

Co-authored by Bertha Isabel Crombet, PhD Reviewed by Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP

Last Updated: November 19, 2025 Fact Checked

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• TikTok Trend Explained
|
• Psychology Behind It
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• How to Do It
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• Final Thoughts
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• Video

|Show more |Show less

The Bird Theory has recently gone viral on TikTok, offering a simple way for people to test their relationships. But what exactly is the Bird Theory test, and how do you do it? Is there psychological evidence that says it really works? We spoke to clinical therapist Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP to help us break down the Bird Theory test and learn if your relationship is strong, sturdy, and built to last—or in need of some maintenance.

TikTok Bird Theory Test Explained

Clinical therapist Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP says the Bird Theory test is when someone points out something ordinary to their partner, like a bird, and their reaction can reveal the health of the relationship. If they react with interest, they pass the test. If they dismiss it, they fail.

Steps

Section 1 of 4:

What is the Bird Theory test on TikTok?

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1. 
   The test indicates how much one partner cares about the other's interests. Tenzer explains that the theory “refers to the idea that when one partner ‘points out a bird,’” or “shares a small moment, excitement, thought, or observation to their partner, the other partner’s reaction reveals the health of the relationship.” For example, she says Person A might exclaim, “Look at that rainbow!” Person B can either engage, showing interest and connecting with something their partner is excited about (even if they aren’t particularly interested). Or, Tenzer says Person B can ignore and dismiss Person A, “showing disinterest or emotional distance when their partner clearly was trying to share a casual moment.”

   • Showing interest is a great sign that the relationship is healthy and fulfilling. However, if they dismiss what their partner is saying, it could be a red flag.
   • The point of the test is to gauge how much your partner cares about the things you care about, whether they be big or small.
   • Tenzer notes that the theory is loosely rooted in Gottman’s relationship research. However, she says the theory itself became popular on social media platforms.
   • Specifically, the Bird Theory test first appeared in a 2023 TikTok video posted by @alyssacardib, which currently has over 600K likes.
   • The Bird Theory test doesn’t always have to involve a bird, although this is the most commonly used example. It could be any small detail, like a house painted an unusual color, a cool billboard, etc.
   • This “test” is usually done by someone in a romantic relationship, but it can work between friends, too.
   • Another similar TikTok trend is the Orange Peel Theory, used to test how much one person is willing to do for their partner.

   Meet the wikiHow Expert

   Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP is a clinical therapist with over 18 years of clinical and educational experience. She specializes in mental health and interpersonal relationships.
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Section 2 of 4:

Bird Theory Test Psychology

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1. 
   Psychology suggests the test can indicate the success of a relationship. According to Tenzer, “The foundation of this theory is backed by relationship psychology, even if ‘Bird Theory’ itself is a simplified version.” She says, “The concept originates from Drs. John and Julie Gottman’s research on ‘emotional bids for connection.’” Tenzer explains that “in long-term studies, couples who regularly ‘turn toward bids’ (respond positively to small gestures) were far more likely to stay together according to the Gottman Method.”

   • On the other hand, Tenzer notes that “ignoring or rejecting these ‘bids’ predicts lower levels of interest in the relationship, lack of emotional intimacy, and dissatisfaction over time.”
   • A “bid for connection” describes when one partner reaches out to another to express an interest, concern, or need. One partner’s reaction to their spouse’s bid is a good way to predict whether the relationship will succeed or fizzle out.
   • Psychologists at the Gottman Institute studied thousands of couples, finding that the strongest couples responded kindly to one another’s attempts at connection 86% of the time.
     • On the other hand, couples who ended up breaking up only did so 33% of the time.
   • These small moments are some of the most important parts of relationships, as they represent the energy, care, and respect we hold for our loved ones.
   • Responding to your partner more positively can help strengthen your connection, build trust, and improve intimacy.
   • Tenzer adds that she uses the Gottmans’ form of couples therapy in her own practice.

Section 3 of 4:

How to Do the Bird Test

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1. 
   Point out any random, ordinary thing that catches your eye to your partner. While it can certainly be a bird, it doesn’t have to be. For example, you could point out a funny bumper sticker or an interesting tree. Say something like, “Hey, check out this awesome tree!” and see how your partner responds.

   • If they acknowledge and show interest in what you’re saying, that’s a sign of a healthy relationship. Both people likely feel seen and valued.
   • If they dismiss what you’re saying, they may be busy or disengaged. They might say “Oh, cool,” without taking the time to look or force a smile and shrug it off.
     • This doesn’t mean the relationship is doomed, but it could benefit from more effort.
   • If they reject what you’re saying, they may reply in an aggressive or annoyed tone. They might turn to you and say, “Why are you bothering me with this right now? Can’t you see I’m busy?”
     • This could mean that there are problems in the relationship, and your partner may not be meeting your needs.
   • Ideally, the test is done in a place where your partner has a chance to react and engage, like a park or a coffee shop.
     • For example, doing this in the car while they’re driving may not work as well because they’re already busy doing something.
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Section 4 of 4:

Final Thoughts

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1. While the Bird test offers some insight, don’t take it too seriously. Evidence shows that the Bird Theory test can give us a better understanding of relationships. However, doing this test is more for fun than anything else. There are lots of different factors that can affect the outcome, including the setting, the person’s mood, and the context of the situation.

   • Whether someone “passes” the Bird Theory test or not does not define the person or the relationship as a whole.
   • If your partner “fails” the Bird Theory test, have an open conversation about the importance of connecting more in your everyday lives.
   • Tenzer adds that the Bird Theory “isn’t a formal test; there’s no diagnostic criteria or something you can see.” Instead, she says, “It’s just a popular symbol for one of the strongest predictors (according to the Gottman Method) of relationship health: how partners respond to everyday emotional bids.”

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