This article was reviewed by Seth Hall. Seth T. Hall (ICF ACC, CLC, and MNLP) is a Certified Life Coach and Founder of Transformational Solutions, a Los Angeles-based life-coaching company that helps people achieve their toughest goals, find their own voice, and think outside the box. He has been a life coach for over 10 years, specializing in personal development, relationships, career and finance, and wellness. He has helped his clients break the negative cycles in their lives and replace them with a positive, proactive mindset. Seth believes that everyone has the potential to live a fulfilling and rewarding life, and works passionately to help them reach their full potential. With a deep understanding of how our minds work and the power of positive thinking, he encourages his clients to find their unique paths in life and find success on their own terms. He is a certified master practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, a featured co-author for WikiHow, and co-author of "The Mountain Method”, “The Happy Tiger”, and “The V.I.S.I.O.N.S. Program”.
There are 10 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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We all have to get through things we don't like in life, be it small or big. Perhaps having to go through a tough set of exams, a driving test or a holiday with someone you really don't like. In many cases, there's little we can do to change outside factors, but we can certainly get through it all in a less stressful way.
Steps
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Be aware of the task. Often, what we think is daunting turns out not to be such a big deal. You might think that there's too much to study for your public exams when actually you can still find time to enjoy yourself. Write down what it is you have to do, ask people who've gone through it before and evaluate how bad it truly is.[1]
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Identify what it is that you don't like. There are some things that are near-universally unpleasant, but in certain cases, we simply don't want to do something based on a minor factor. I knew a person who hated going on school trips because of homesickness, but had no problem doing sleepovers with friends. It rested simply in the fact that he associated one with "school", while the other with "friends". When he realised that school trips are no worse than going on a slightly more rigorous sleepover, his fear went away and he ended up enjoying them.[2]Advertisement
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Prepare yourself in advance. Once you've identified what it is you have to do, plan ahead and get ready. If it's public exams, write yourself a timetable; if it's for going on a dreaded trip, find things which can make it more enjoyable. Make sure you are organised and emotionally ready for what you have to do - you'll get there feeling far less stressed or unhappy.[3]
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Try to enjoy it! This sounds trite, but even the dullest of things can be minimally enjoyable if we have a positive attitude and open mind. Try to find the good in every situation - for instance, see exam study as an opportunity to spend time with friends if you revise together; be aware that what you're learning will make you a more cultured person, and find a way to make a boring subject interesting through witty mnemonics or background stories.[4]
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See the goal/end. We all have to go through hard times in life, but often our greatest joys come as a consequence of our worst pain. Visualise the achievement you will feel once you've finished the task, think about what you're going to do afterwards, and use this as an incentive to keep on going. If in certain cases there isn't any overall achievement, try to imagine the good things you can regain once it's over.[5]
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Don't be too harsh on yourself. Don't be overly hard on the way you're coping with the task. If you're trying your best, get over any lapse - we're only human after all. Of course, try to see where you can improve, but excessively high standards are just counterproductive. You should feel worse about perfectionist expectations than anything that goes wrong.[6]
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Surround yourself with family and/or friends. There's nothing better than having a supportive family or group of friends to help you. If you are in the position of having them nearby, take the opportunity to talk and share your experience. If you're far away, the glories of the internet and mobile phones allow us to keep in contact, so make use of these precious tools! And, if even that doesn't work, try the good old-fashioned method of letter-writing.[9]
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Let it out! Don't bottle up your emotions. If one day you feel like crying, have a good sob. If you want to shout, go somewhere private and blurt it out. It may not make the problem go away, but at least it will relieve you of some of the stress building up inside. In certain studies crying has been proven to help reduce anxiety levels.[10]
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See the bigger picture. Going through a set of public exams lasts a few months, a dreaded trip probably won't be more than a few weeks, a bad job may take up a few years of your life. Remember first of all that you should have a long life and whatever you have to do won't last forever, but also try to remind yourself that things could (nearly) always be worse. While you may hate to sit through a huge set of papers, think of people who are going through the same thing but might also be suffering from cancer or having family problems. Note the good things in your life, and always, always remember that you're never alone.
Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow can I motivate myself when doing something I don't want?
Anna Elton, PhD, LMFTAnna Elton, PhD, LMFT is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Clinical Sexologist, Speaker, and Author based in Florida. With over 15 years of experience, she works with individuals, couples, and families both nationally and internationally. Dr. Elton is an author and the founder of the non-profit “I Care We All Care". She is also the host of Life, Love, Etc., a bi-weekly relationship show reaching over 100,000 viewers per episode. Her clinical work and insights have been featured on PBS, FOX, ABC, and NBC, and she contributes regularly to Psychology Today through her blog Life, Love, Etc. She received a Ph.D in Clinical Sexology from MSTI, a Master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from UMass Boston, and a BS in Psychology from UMass Boston.
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist
Acknowledge and celebrate small accomplishments. It's crucial to take a moment to recognize and celebrate small victories, as we often tend to overlook our achievements and keep pushing forward without pausing to appreciate our progress. Typically, we only stop to reflect when things aren't going well. Therefore, it's important to integrate more positivity into our lives and incorporate small practices that contribute to a sense of accomplishment and self-appreciation.
Reader Videos
Tips
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If the task requires a certain level of control (i.e. preparing for an interview/exams), make sure to treat your body well. Fix regular sleeping patterns and try to eat healthily most of the time.Thanks
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Certain foods/drinks are known to reduce anxiety - try avocado, asparagus, berries and milk. Camomile tea also remains a timeless soother.Thanks
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If the task is spread over a long period of time, listening to music you enjoy or feeling artistically inspired can often make even the worst things seem trivial.Thanks
Warnings
- However, don't jump to conclusions or give up at first sight - wait a while, evaluate everything, and then see if the situation goes out of hand.Thanks
- If you feel this task is consuming your life to the extent that it's giving you severe stress, anxiety, depression, or worse, affecting your physical/mental health, talk to a professional - you never know, it might help.Thanks
- Following the above, if you feel the unhappiness caused is not worth the outcome, evaluate with someone else whether you should go or keep on going through with it in the first place.Thanks
Expert Interview
Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about human behavior, check out our in-depth interview with Anna Elton, PhD, LMFT.
References
- ↑ https://extension.uga.edu/publications/detail.html?number=C1042&title=time-management-10-strategies-for-better-time-management
- ↑ https://sites.rhodes.edu/academicsupport/overcoming-procrastination
- ↑ https://positivepsychology.com/life-worth-living-setting-life-goals/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-matters-most/201705/how-deal-boring-or-mundane-tasks
- ↑ https://www.uopeople.edu/blog/dreams-vs-goals-the-differences-that-matter/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-practice/201810/7-signs-youre-too-hard-on-yourself
- ↑ Anna Elton, PhD, LMFT. Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/psychology-rewarding-yourself-with-treats#1
- ↑ https://scholarworks.boisestate.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1122&context=ipt_facpubs











